A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ladies: What is the best way to tell a guy you lovehim? I know that guys aren't as touchy-feely as wegirls tend to be, and I know that their minds usuallyhave a tendency to work VERY differently from the wayours do. What's the best way to say those three littlewords so that he can actually, you know, understand andbelieve them? I'm asking this because I've been tryingto work up the courage to say them to my boyfriend. Ihave come pretty close to doing so quite a few times,but every time I start to, I back out because I getscared that if I go ahead and say them, HE'S going tobe the one getting scared. This is the first romanticrelationship that either one of us has been in, and wehave been dating for around two months now. It mightsound crazy for me to be talking about love at thispoint in the relationship, but I really, really feellike that's what I'm feeling. Do you think I should goahead and tell him? And if so, how should I say it?Thanks,~SarSar~ Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, XxXDaniXxX  +, writes (27 May 2009):
Heyyah.
I don't think its crazy that your talkin about love at this stage, me and my boyfriend have only been dating a couple of months and we already say we love each other. if you feel you love him then just say it, look into his eyes and say it, or right it down. Dont keep your feelings bottled up, it's better he knows how you feel. and if he is the emotional type he'll say it back, but if he's "hard hearted" he'll just kiss you.
Sorry i couldnt be much help
Dani Knowles
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): hi
My boyfriend told me he loved me after only a week of being together and yes it did scare me off a bit but it was to nice to know how he was feeling and it made me feel special that he felt comfortable enough to say it, i said it back a couple of weeks later when i felt ready and its been the most amazing relationship ever. we tell each other often how we feel and it helps to get through hard times if you know the other person knows how you honeslty feel about them
so if you feel it then say it!
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A
female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle +, writes (25 March 2008):
If you feel it, say it. People are saying wait 6 months to a year...if you feel like saying it earlier then say it. My boyfriend said he loved me after a WEEK; I don't remember exactly how many times he said it but definately by about 4 months he said it regularly. I however took a lot longer to say it and still do. We've been together almost two years now, yes it did scare me off when he said it so early - I just put it down to a slip of the tongue!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Some Men will connect "I love you" with actions of compassion and trust towards them. If this isn't present, then they will know it, and it will hurt or sour the relationship.So if you treat him well, such as respect his opinions even though you don't hold them as your own, he knows this but knows you still accept him, then this is good. If he hold your hand and you accept this and don't move away, then this is good. If he wants to cuddle, hold you in his arms or be held, and you don't struggle to get away, then this to is good. If you ask him for his opinion, and some of what he tells you you do and he sees this, then that is good. If he asks for your help and you do, and he accepts it and uses it, then this is good. All of these is acceptable proof that saying "I love you" will stick to the heart, and he will feel all warm inside that he has an intimate bond with you. Always be honest to him as he should be to you during communication with him or others. If you have an enemy and can still be honest, he will respect this. If you can't and he understands how your blood boils around them, and that you just want to get away, he will respect this (even though, my opinion, you should figure out why and try to resolve the conflict - life learning experience that can't always be avoided).Hope this gives you some ideas and hope it may help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Ok first guys aren't that different from women. If he loves you he will tell you this. You can say it first but I wouldn't recommend it. He'll understand you if you say it. What's not to understand? The problem is it may not be welcome news. He may not be that serious. Which is why you may want to wait and not say it. You don't have to tell him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Hun, you have dated this fellow for 2 months. Give this some time. You both are still in the 'thrall of passion and exciting newness.' Be patient, hun. This is the first steps of beginning of your journey with this guy. And getting to the serious "I love you' phase is simply a phase you don't want to rush into. Now, the next step will be where the relationship gets warm, nice and settles comfortably. It the place where you are both totally relaxed with each other and each other's feelings build momentum. This process could take a good 6 months to a year. It is at the end of this phase, (say in about 6 months-year) where you could tell him 'you love him'. Don't rush this, you both have a lot of growing and getting to know each other, yet. It seems pretty sure he knows you like him.... a lot. At 2 months into this...that's enough for now. Just allow thing to unfold in their own time. A common mistake females do, is say all those big "I love you's" way too early in a relationship and the guy can't respond..he feels rushed and pressured. Allow yourselves time to ease into that phase...it will come. You just have to be patient, dear. Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, Michael Bo Andersen  +, writes (21 March 2008):
Hello ~SarSar~
Sorry for not being a lady.
I know that guys useualy aren't very emotional. If he is the emotional type (such as I am) a: I love you. Works better then anything else, because then he knows that you mean it. But if he is "The smart no-feelings"-type, I cannot help you much I am affraid.
I hope you could use it
Goodluck
Michael Bo Andersen
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