A
female
age
41-50,
*ellymc
writes:I really need some advice recently I went threw my boyfriend's fone (I know I shouldn't have) and found that when he had gone out he had met a girl and now hes been texting her asking her to send pictures of herself and things like that. It's killing me knowing that he is doing this but now I cannot confront him about this because he will know I have been through his fone. I really don't want to split up with him but how do I get around this problem? Please please please can you help me on this matter it is eating away at me inside.
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female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Dr reality checkYou have no need to go through your partners phone because you know she has nothing to hide, i have no reason to go through my boyfriends phone because i know that to. This girl was obviously doubtful, doesnt she have the right to know what the hell is going on behind her back? or should she be naive and stuck in a relationship where her boyfriend acts all innocent but is really cheating on her? I have been there i have been the naive one who trusted my ex and i know when i was suspicious i should have looked in the damn phone, would have saved me alot of heartbreak. You may be the last to know whats really going on so why not get it out in the open now? You should be comfortable enough with your partner to LET them have access to your phone whenever they want. I have had many friends who find out their bf is cheating through reading the idiots messages, and they broke up with them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Although it is wrong to go through your partners phone because it is an invasion of privacy. There is obviously some trust issues here and in a way its a good thing you saw what you did because now you know whats going on. What could be missing from your relationship that he is turning to another woman for that type of mess? If you want to work it out then sit him down and talk to him about why he feels the need to look elsewhere and what can you do to change that. But if he wants to be a complete asshole and blow it and you off about the situation and continue on doing this, then leave him its not worth it!
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Jaime90, what the HELL are you talking about. In no way is it alright to go through your partners phone without permission - this is an invasion of privacy. Would you go through their diary too? This is why people need TRUST in a relationship. I would never go through my partner's phone because I don't have to, I know she has nothing to hide.
As for the question from Kellymc, you've already done it now, so you are both being dishonest with each other if you try to hide that you went through his phone. You might as well lay everything out in the open. Admit you were wrong to go through his phone but curiosity got the better of you. At least then you are telling him the truth - if he is a real man, he will be just as honest with you. If however he is the rat he seems to be, he just isn't worth it.
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A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (28 October 2008):
If he has something to hide, you have the right to go through his phone. Dont worry that you were doing the wrong thing, because it is perfectly normal to go through your partners phone, because you dont expect to find anything bad. You have a right to know whats going o behind your back. Tell him straight out you saw and get his explanation, but dont jump to conclusions first and start to accuse him. It sounds like what he is doing is wrong, although i cant be sure of what is going on. If i was in the same situation i would definetly confront my boyfriend.
If you dont want to confront him maybe try joking around saying im going to go through your phone! infront of him and seeing his reaction.
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