A
female
age
30-35,
*ove me or not
writes:dearcupid i am a 14 year old and i was wondering how do i get a boy to see the real me and how do i ask him to go out with me? I go to his house and he talks to me and he wants to have sex and i am scared and i like him alot but i'm afraid to tell him no and i think he like me but he acts like he dont please help me!!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Simply tell him you would NEVER consider having sex until you're older. This lets him see you have a good head on your shoulders and that you won't be forced or pushed around for anyone. He'll admire and respect you for your principles, I'm sure of it. Also let him know it's against the law until you're both 16.
If he still tries to force you then he's not worth it. Tell him you're really disappointed in him and that you want him to leave, or YOU take your leave if you're with him.
Eve
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 hello just say it and dont do what you dont want to do tell him "I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU"good luck
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (25 March 2007):
 He's a teen aged boy. OF COURSE he wants to have sex with you. That's what teen aged boys do.
From your letter it's clear that there is no way that you are ready for such a step in your life. You are going to have to make it clear to him that, although you like him, you are NOT ready for sex and NOT available for sex and NOT going to change your mind about the subject any time soon.
Frankly, this may well cost you your relationship with him. Guys that age are on the make and are looking for girls who "will". If that's all he wants you for, he's not really worth keeping, no matter how much you may want him now. Because if that's all there is, it won't last anyway and you'll just get hurt in the end.
You need to build a reputation as a girl who expects respect from her guy. Once you've learned how to build a relationship on mutual respect and not just on what his hormones are saying, you may find that you WILL be ready to go with the flow. It's NOT a quick learning process. But it's worth it.
Keep your self-respect, and BE CAREFUL!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Firstly you have got to remember that you can't be forced into anything that you don't want to do. Secondly you are only 14 and sex is illegal at that age. Thirdly this guy sounds that he is just using you for sex. Don't ask him out and move on. Find a guy who isn't just looking for sex.
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A
female
reader, livi +, writes (25 March 2007):
 hey there,
youve gotta be straght with him, tell him your really like him but you are not ready to have sex with him.
If he chucks you to one side becoz of this then he was not worth it anyway.
dont be pressured into doing something you do not want to do, you'll regret it in later years.
good luk with it all : D
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