A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's family and this situation has got me drained mentally plus giving me severe anxiety and depression.My mother in law and her sister who I live inside the same residence with, hate me. I live on the second floor apartment.Everyone knows they are mean to me, they just are always plotting, always trying to do me dirty and I always find out because I am a thinker. They try to attack me when I least expect it. For example they take stuff from my apartment, I've had jewerly, clothes, beauty products and money missing. Why they hate me? they can't believe my boyfriend fell for me. I am a person that's a lot compromised with my looks and maybe a bit selfish *but only with the people that I don't like. Them being totally the same and worse, despise me because my life is " too easy " for their opinion, since my father in law let me live with my family (me, the kids and his son) in an apartment inside his home which was all for the sister of my mother in law, an old lady by herself. Since I live here, they have made my life a living hell. I have to sneak out for work because they accuse my work as being from the sex industry when I work in the beauty and photography industry. They shame my work but they always need something that I do for free.My mother in law always finds reasons to charge my partner money in return for favors, and we can't even make ends meet so the favors continue and she takes advantage of it all because she's got her husbands credit card. She has never worked and has no hobbies so her hobby right now is to be criticizing everything we do. Lately she's manipulated him and all this situation so much that I don't even have a decent life anymore. We haven't married yet, I had to pause all my personal achievements to keep the house clean, do the laundry, babysit all day every day in return for nothing. At first, I was naive and thought this is life but I have opened my eyes, and seen that I am so depressed because I can't get groceries done and I have to eat whatever is left in the fridge that is for storage of the house because I don't have a fridge. I get therapy and counseling that my mom pays for me, but to be honest it hasn't helped a lot. I can't get a new job that requires hours because I am studying and a mom of two (6 and 3). I don't have money right now because I used to work freelance but I don't have time to even be ready and in shape for when work comes around (I work in the beauty industry). I want to become independent but I don't know any creative ways to make money as a mom, and also, these people are always bashing whatever I do ( concerning the house keeping and my photoshoots) but still always make me do my work for free to them. (They make my boyfriend work for free) too and we can't even say no because she acts like the reason we are living here is thanks to her when in reality, she never wanted us to move here). His mom has a maids and help but she is pointing fingers at me for not having everything clean. Her sister is always demanding me to clean all the house where we live, since she helps with the baby. For my m. in law, her sister is like her assistant and lives under her shadow because my father in law maintains both of them while they spend all his money because he is the sugar daddy of my mother in law. What are your thoughts on how I can get through this?
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female
reader, 0livia  +, writes (20 April 2020):
 Ditch the 2 hippos - they sound negative and draining as hell
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2019): Now that you know that you are not happy in her home you should try to find another home for you both to live in.It's not going to be easy because you depend on the mother and the sister to a great extent.You may think that it is ok for your kids but they will sense your contempt for their grandmother and great Aunt and you will only find it harder as time goes on.So you could quit college and get a regular job and study part time or in the evenings.But if you at least had your home in another dwelling then you could teach your children what being a small family means.You are currently not family because you are not married.You are also a little in awe of the grandfathers wealth.I see this as being a very bad situation where you have little control over your future or that of your children's future and by accepting their hospitality you are making yourself indebted to them, thereby eroding your self esteem and confidence.You are slowly allowing yourself to be undermined.You could find another roof over your head.Possibly you would be better off to stay with your own mother if you can't manage alone, which you say you cant.You might find your own mother to be much kinder and be glad to loose the constant threat of the power of the future in-laws wealth.But if you agree to stay with them you will always be indebted to them for their help regardless of how you feel.There is an undertone of sexual contempt. They assume you are in the sex industry.You refer to your husband's dad as a sugar daddy who gives a credit card to his wife.None of this is healthy at all!That's why I suggest that you take your kids and move back to your mum's so that they can have a warm environment to grow up in.
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