A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I lived with Tim for 8 years. We owned a home together and moved out last April. Main problem was his ex-wife and his kids. The Ex harrassed and stalked me during those years, I did have a restraining order and she broke it 21 times. The kids were older and the youngest being 15 was babied and had no chores to do around the home and Tim even cut up his eggo waffles and then his son still peed the bed. So finally I'm flying solo and have my own home, but continued to date Tim until October Now I see him with a new girlfriend and cannot stop obsessing over Tim having sex with her or someone else. I have only dated a few guys but nothing serious enough to jump in bed. How do I stop this mindset. To make matters worse Tim and I work for the same company in the same department and I see him several times a week. Help, kathleen
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female
reader, lillymay  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 hi kathleen,im affraid what u r experiencing is called the grass is always greener.its not u no,when u have only fantasy to go on everything seems like it was perfect in yr mind,when infact it never was perfect between u was it.u have to think what it was like when u were in this stressful relationship.it sounds to me that u think cause he is with someone new and u r not that u r maybe missing out on something.to be honest with u,i think u r so much better off without him,no matter how painful it is,sometimes relationships r disructive mentaaly.and dont 4 one second think that the ex wife wont be doing the same to the new girlfriend.try and find an interest in your life that will give u confidence and a new outlook on life.maybe a dance class or an evening class that will enable u to meet new people and set u down a new path.think what u want from your life and one step at a time one day at a time give new things a go.what have u got to lose?i think it wiil be very good 4 u to get your teeth in2 something new.
good luck and please let me no how things develope.i hope this has been of help to u.
lillymay.
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