A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is still in love with his ex!! I asked him to tell me truth if he still loved her and he said yes but he really doesn't want to be, they split up years ago but this is the only woman he's ever been in love with and the only woman that he's ever seen himself having kids with and getting married to! We have a great relationship but it's starting to bother me, I'm not a jealous person but I can't help thinking that if he doesn't get over her then there's no future! Help
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 If your present relationship is going GREAT, then put the other thoughts out of your mind. You are going to make yourself a place with more troubles than you know by worrying to much over HIS PAST! I know how it hurts to be in your position. I have been there too. As a matter of fact it happened to me just last year. I dated a man who kept hitting the brakes and I couldn't eve begin to figure out why. Eventually we split and he wound up with someone who ironacally I had raised her two children for several years. Of couse she knew I was in love with this guy and promised as my friend not to interfere. HA! Turned around and there he was with her, had moved her in...I found out she was really an old friend of his and he had hooked up with her once or twice many years ago.
The funny thing is he was still IN LOVE as he would had told with a woman he was engaged too about 3 years before we met. The relationship with this other gal didn't last but about two weeks, he couldn't keep his eyes off me! We had remained friends and he showed her respect. We had no other contact than when we sang on Fri. Nights. In the end however he realized that he cared to much for me to just let me go. We got back together only a few days after they broke up.
After almost a year the boat began to rock a bit because of external reasons,(his ex fiances son) who I allowed to hang out with us, stirred up alot of mess! We broke up but even when he was single and she was too, he still called me and would leave messages for every reason under the son to keep in contact. In only a few short weeks we were back together.That was over a year ago. He told me Christmas Day that it wasn't about loving or being in love, He LOVED ME PERIOD!
The point is, I stuck around long enough for him to realize that even though he loved her, that love was obviously changing because he came to an understanding that HE LOVES ME TOO but I am in the present and such a good force in his life he does't want me to leave. He had begun to open his heart to me. I could see it.
Stand your grounds and wait it out if you love him. Life WILL bring about changes, and though we have no gaurentees we can STILL HOPE! I pray everynight and day for GOD TO STRENGHTEN OUR LIVES AND RELATIONSHIP. He doesn"t think he's worth loving but I KNOW HE IS! Your fears will make you anxious and you will be dooming the relationship if you let those emotions control you.
Show him the love you have and let him know that even though you may not completely understand, you love him enough to stick by him. How long you are willihg to deal with this could make the difference in the total outcome. How long you wait is up to you, but moving on or away from the relationship you share...well let me put it like this....YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MAY GET INTO IF YOU WALK AWAY......AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MAY BRING INTO ONE ANTOHER'S LIVES IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP TOO SOON!
MAY THE ANGELS GUIDE YOU BY THE LIGHT OF THE LORD AND MAY HIS PRESENCE DIRECT YOUR PATH STRAIGHTFORWARD FROM THE LOVE YOU SHARE NOW, INTO THE FUTURE! HIS LOVING WILL BE DONE!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, Gayle-x +, writes (28 February 2009):
If your boyfirend has only been in love with one woman then obviously he wont forget her. I know i'm young and dont have a lot of life experience but i am smart and honestly dont worry about it. You never forget your first love nomatter who you are or who they are, he obviously loved this person very much but they werent meant to be together. Everything happens for a reason and he is with you for a reason!, if he loved her that much he wouldve left you by now and tried to get back together with her. Let him come out of this on his own, he loves you and he has eyes for nobody but you so stop stressing over it and enjoy the great relationship you have :)
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