A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really really love my teacher.He came in year 9 as my form tutor and i had him for buisness studies.Now im in year 10 and just have him as a form tutor.When i had family problems we always used to talk.He used to make me laugh so much.But since i satrted liking him,I cant talk to him without really clamming up,Whenever i see him on the corridors now when we are on our own,we can talk for ages about anything,and when i talk to him i feel so happy,but then i see really pretty girls that flirt with him,and they just think of it like any other talk with someone,but it really hurts me to think i have a bit of a talk with him and they can flirt non-stop with him.He is one of the most amazing people ive ever met.I come home nearly every day now crying.i feel like i push my friends and family away because i have become so depressed.It kills me to think that i can't be with him.It's upsetting them so much and i dont know what to do anymore.I want to talk to him about it.Iv felt like this for nearly two years now,depressed but it has recently got worse seen as im sick of feeling empty,emotionall and upset all the time.I don't see the point in having fun and making new friends when he isnt there.My friends try to help me all the time but i feel like im bugging them.I don't know whether to talk to him or what.I just want something to change so that i dont feel like this anymore.Iv tried everything not to like him.I took 2 weeks off school last month because one of my friends suggested not seing him will make me stop loving him.Any suggestions?
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female
reader, gooddrawer  +, writes (17 June 2010):
I told my teacher how I felt about him so he told someone at school and now I am in a different class because it was awkward for him,now I am even more depressed.I know it's really hard,I understand that it is hard to accept that it can't happen but really try not to make the mistake I made.It would be better if you don't tell him when you leave because you are still under age,it will take a long time to get over him.Try to go out more because it makes it worse if you just stay in thinking about it, it will help you get him off your mind a bit if you are doing other things.Sometimes writing your feelings helps or talking about your feelings,it can take the weight off your shoulder.hope this will help you and good luck.
A
female
reader, AmorousElement  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Take it one step at a time. If he's really an amazing person as you say he is. Tell him about how you feel and maybe you guys can talk it over, and it'll probably make you feel better :) Don't be scared of rejection, be prepared for it. But don't let it get you down. If he rejects you, it's not because you did something wrong. Or if your not pretty enough. Or if your to young. Thoughts like that is what can make you even more depressed. So yeah, a good talk is all you need ^^ And I'm sure he'll understand.
Good luck ^^
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou to everyone who has written.It has really helped me and i'v seen a different light on things.I didn't think just writing on this page could help me so much :) so again..Thankyou :)
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Hey there, despite your flag, I suspect you are in the UK, because you are using terms that aren't commonly used here in the US. So you probably know about the law regarding inappropriate contact between students and teachers there?
You could wind up being hauled before the head and having your parents there and a whole humiliating scene to be played out.
I think you probably do need to talk to someone about this as it seems to be affecting you so deeply. If you can, start with your parents, I am sure they know something is troubling you and it would be a big help to have them know what's going on. I'll bet you'll feel better just getting that off your chest and being able to TALK about it to someone. Your mum by herself would be good too; she loves you and would probably be so honored that you trusted her enough to share this secret with. If you feel you can't talk to her, then you definitely need to tell the school counselor. This is getting ridiculous, for you to miss 2 weeks of school? That's a real problem. Yes, it's time for help.
Please reach out and ask for it. I know you will feel a huge sense of relief once you do, and that alone will make you feel just a bit better, so you can start to figure out what to do next.
Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate the answer so thankyou,it's so difficult,To be honest,i don't know weather i want to stop liking him,i mean,i knwo i ahve to,but i love the feeling i get when im with him,just me and him,but i have to remeber thats only sometimes,and im depressed all the time about him.Is it really that big a boundarie..not being able to go to parents BBQ's e.t.c.? I'v been asking so many people,all of them telling me to do something different,they are saying i should talk to him about it..(after all he is my tutor) but some others say if i do then he might not be able to talk about it and ahve to report it..or it would be really awkward and its not fair to put him in that position.Im glad thats its long1 to be onset i need some advice from others who arenot my schoolfriends who dont know what to tell me! Everyone tells me when i leave school i should ask him for a drink or something which,i might do,im really thiking abotu it,but its long away and..i really like him..i know,if i really liked him then i would wait,it just really kills knowing il wait for 2 years till im 18 but meanwhile he'll be going on dates or he could meet someone..really special.Im so glad youv helped so..Thankyou x
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male
reader, hazza123 +, writes (18 May 2010):
i think you shouldnt like a teacher there like twice your age.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 May 2010):
 It's difficult when you can't have someone that you desire. What you must keep in your thoughts. At your age, if you had him, what would you do? Bring him home, and say, "mom, dad, can we keep him?" I know that's difficult to hear, but you must look at your age, and that you are emotionally growing from being a girl to being a woman. At times that growth will have intense moments. Being at school where there are so many young folks going through these same changes make it even more difficult because the transference of emotional energy is much greater.
He has boundaries, as teacher/student. Why don't you set up the same. It can be difficult, but it shows maturity when you are able to. Tell yourself, "he is the teacher, I am the student, therefore it'd be inappropriate to act on these feelings." I haven't been a teacher, but I worked with being in charge of teens newspaper delivery. The same things happened their that you're experiencing at your school. Youth having crushes on those with authority. Even with the young adults I had boundaries, and with parents. I turned down birthday parties, parents inviting me to bbq's because being in a personal environment crossed my professional boundaries. That's what needs to happen here.
Why else develop boundaries? It protects yourself and your teacher. If you were to be with him, what can he loose? His career, his home, his family, and his freedom. Taking that into account provides greater reason to work through these feelings and establish that student/teacher boundary.
I know this is long, but I feel it has to be with how many adults and young girls and boys have had their lives destroyed by the after affect of crossing their boundaries. I don't want you to become another one who's part of that number. A single choice can improve your life and it can destroy your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): There's no kind or simple way to answer this, but it cannot ever happen. Not just morally, its illegal. You have to stop yourself feeling like this, because proffesing your love to him will lead to rejection and he'll distance himself from you. I know its hard, but its the truth, it will never happen. You'll find someone who'll love you back, but it won't be him. Spare yourself the rejection and awkwardness and move on. Hope this helps and best of luck :D
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