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writes: Im 39yrs old and a virgin, my problem is i masturbate a lot, 3/4 times a day sometimes it can be more to the point im sore, anyway reason im posting here is i need advice, i have a major problem which is scaring me and upsetting friends or losing friends because of it, when i get aroused i seem to want to tell ppl mostly women that im hard and need to masturbate or i am, and the way i do this is either msn or texts or through some sort of chatroom or through a game called world of warcraft, in this game u can whisper ppl, so when i get hard and need to masturbate i pm a female i know, or any female character in the game although the character might be male, and tell them im horny etc, now this is freakin me out, as i dont have an answer why i do this, but what scares me the most is what if the person i whisper is a child?I dont want to do this i want to STOP, and doing what i have ive already lost valued friends i loved and cared about as u can understand as its some think ppl just dont want to know esp women, and its making me depressed, i dont want to be like this and why i am i dont know as ive only been like it the past 3months, and i just cant explain why. i do admit im addicted to masturbation, i have been to my GP and also seen a sex therapist and they have both said i have no self control and if i cant stop then my doctor can by giving me a pill, to stop me having sexual thoughts and make me limp, they take 3months to fully work and once i start taking them for the 3months, if i masturbate i may just go limp, or wont reach orgasm and after a while i just wont get an erection ever again which both doctor and sex therapist both agree i need to do this, even if it means i cant get sexualy turned on again basicaly limp for good, there given to sex offender to make them limp and stop them offending again, but as ive said both gp and therapist want me on them no matter what the cost is if i cant do it myself, so i dunno what to do?Yes i want to stop what im doing but i cant on my own and only way i guess is to take the 3month course but sort of dont want to cause cant masturbate or get an erection once i start, so here i am posting here wanting your advice prefferd from females, i hope i havnt offended anyone just seeking advice.....
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chat room, depressed, erection, horny, limp, msn, orgasm, text, world of warcraft Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mark2456  +, writes (28 February 2008):
i cant stop masturbating either but after i do i feel like i have to stop but then the next day i want to again thats y i was reading youre message for everyone to see.now my goal is to start playing some sports or stay away from porn sites or W o W and also if youre like losing weight eat more it helps doesnt matter if you get fat work out so im telling do something that doesnt envolve masturbation set youre goal to a better life
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): If you feel you need to stop. then please stop and honestly do so. this fequent masturbation to me occurs due to many resons, one, you seem to be idle all the time, you are probably always by yourself, or you watch alot of ponorgrahpy, try to participate in active sports and try to as much as possible avoid being all by your self, the deire to masturbate will not come to you, avoid sex fantasies. Watch some great sport and enjoy the company of your peers, at 34 and above, if you are still a virgin then you must find love to engage your sex activity with. hard luck,
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): As I replied today in the forum in your thread:
I doubt most right-minded folk here would be upset or offended by your post. You clearly have a problem and further that, it is a mental problem that stems from your childhood, and piling up with self-esteem issues. There are so many factors that root out to other areas - eg:
1) who are your friends, who can you relate to, how is your family, who you are the closest to, and what have you done that pushed everyone away, etc
2) who do you see yourself as a person, what have you done for yourself, what do you do for your career, what other problems have you recognized about yourself?
What you might want to consider is the environment that you put yourself in. May I suggest a change of familiar territory? Have you ever though of doing something other than computer gaming, online chat, and internet porn?
Sometimes, people just need to be exposed to something outside of their usual routine to get them on a different track, to a different 'routine'.
What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007): i think you most definitly need a sexual partner. if you take these pills you will never enjoy sex when eventually find someone! what if you take them and then find the woman of your dreams? you will just put her off by not being able to sleep with her or have children together. i think you need to overcome the problem mentaly. the tablets are just an easy way out you will regret!
good luck sailor!
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A
female
reader, luvme247 +, writes (24 February 2007):
 First of all, you should ground yourself from world of warcraft until you have this problem solved because you are totally right about the child thing. Now that you are aware of it, don't do it. Stay away from strip clubs, unplug your computer, toss out the porn, and retire the old sock! Get involved in something. Like lifting weights, bowling, fishing, bingo... well, anything to keep you busy. I think that therapy would also do you some good. Work on your self confidence. Get your self esteem a little higher. Then perhaps you could join some singles group in your area. Meet someone, and most importantly... get laid!!! If this all seems too hard for you, you may have gotten to the point that you need to listen to your doctor & take the meds. Especially if you are seeing this problem affect your relationships with friends & now perhaps children. That is a big deal. Not to be too blunt here, but I don't understand how someone can go so many years without having sex. Why haven't you just hired someone by now? I hope I'm not giving illegal advice here, but I think that would be the easiest solution.
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (23 February 2007):
 No you have not offended me at all, if you need help, you need help. All you've done is explained your problem. I am not going to get offended about that. It is difficult to advise you here since you've already been to see the professionals. I understand your concern about never having an erection or getting turned on but...you cannot continue like this. You have lost some of your close friends and sadly you are now the definition of what some would call a 'pervert.' I know that that is not the person you want to be and I commend you for wanting to do something about it, well done for seeking help. I think the experts know best and it may benefit you in the long run if you go along with the 3 month course they have suggested. Since your problem is so serious now, I don't think the advice given here from non-experts like myself will help you very much. The advice you can get here is unfortunately limited. But I hope someone here can offer some real helpful suggestions to help you with your problem. Wait and see who else replies.
But what I do not understand, for someone who is so sexual, it is surprising that you are still a virgin. What is the reason behind that?
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