A
female
age
26-29,
*rettygirl212
writes:my boyfriend and i are currently doing great in our relationship , he is showing effort , and im happy to be with him now. I had told him about how his friends were all trouble , and didnt really care about him , and he finally realized it for himself. The moral is ; im pretty sure if his friend comes back in the picture , our relationship will get complicated again .. its like his friend is a big influence towards him. Is there any way i can prevent his friend from coming in the picture ? or at least from ruining our relationship.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2011):
 If a friend can ruin a relationship then the relationship is not really strong and healthy.
There is nothing you can do. You cannot tell your partner who he can and cannot be friends with. YOU can tell him how you feel about his friends but you need to tread lightly there...
Truth is that friends are often harder to come by than relationship partners... they stick with you through thick and thin and a partner (girlfriend) coming between friends is never going to turn out well.
My current BF has a friend who when we started going out was NOT supportive of me... he said bad things about me to my then FWB... who laughed it off... till we got serious and then his friend was told "look it's getting serious with her and YOU will RESPECT HER as my partner" the friend knew he had two choices... Respect me or lose his friend. They were not very very close but his friend opted to stop saying bad things about me....
It's really up to your BF to set the limits he will take from his friends.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 Well friends are always a big influence for everybody, and it is very hard sometimes to realize when our friends are no good as after all there your friends.
You can try as hard as you can to stop this guy coming back into your boyfriends life, but at the end of the day it his life and he will decide who he wants to be friends with.
If he truely beleives that his friends are no good for him he should be the one who stands up and tells them to get lost, and no matter what you tell him that is a decision that only he can decide.
However it isn't fair on you if his friends ruin your relationship so if they do become friends again and things start going down hill tell your boyfriend that your not happy, say that they are really affecting your relationship and things need to change.
If he truely appreciates you he should listen to what you say and try and sort his relationship with you out and his relationship with his friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): No there is nothing you can do to prevent his friends from coming back into his life, because even though your his girlfriend, you don't have a right to chose his friends, or to stop him from being friends with anyone he wants to be friends with. This is a very bad habbit to get into, because many relationships end because of the fact that someone in the relationship tries to stop the other from being friends with someone because they don't like them. So for your own sake please get out of this habbit now while your still so young. That being said, they may be bad for him, but that is his choice to make nobody else's, but you can stop it from ruining your relationship, by accepting that he is friends with them and showing him that you love him enough to tolerate people you don't particularly like, simply because you love him. Show him that you are mature enough to respect his right to chose his friends, he doesn't need another parent telling him who he should or shouldn't hang out with.
I know it's hard because you care about him and want to protect him from people that you see as being no good for him, but he needs to make the decision himself. When it does get hard to tolerate these people, just keep thinking how you would feel if someone told you not spend time with him because in their opinion he wasn't good for you. You wouldn't like it and probably would start to resent them and not have them in your life anymore. The best thing is just be there for him and even though you don't like them, support him and if things turn out bad with this friend, be there for him but don't say I told you so, or you could lose him.
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