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How can I stop him being so stuck on me. I've never encouraged him at all

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2008)
A female United States, *eratuki writes:

Okay so...

I need some advice..I have NEVER delt with someone like this before.

I have a cousin, Dina. She's pregnant, (again) and she's a total leech. She's my family, but I have very little respect for her.

Anyways recently she left her boyfriend and the father of her unborn baby and moved in with another guy. So, her baby's father, Dewayne called me and asked me if I had talked to her. I said no, but we ended up chatting about the situation for an hour or so.

Since then he would call me once, twice a day to talk...I didn't think anything of it at first, I figured he needed to vent to someone and I was the closest person. No big deal.

but then he started blabbing about "Why didn't I meet you first? then I wouldn't be dealing with this crap right now" and things along those lines. So I stopped talking to him as much, because I don't want to get in the middle of this, and I think part of him is going after me because he knows my cousin Dina will be really angry.

So then, I go on my Myspace page and see he's posted bullitens about how much he wants me and that hes not used to not getting what he wants. As it is now he's talking to my other family members about me!

Now he's calling me 7-8 times a day and since I don't answer he has friends of his send me Instant messages asking why I am avoiding him and how much he likes me...blah blah blah....

I've never ONCE said anything romantic or anything that he could even twist to think I liked him...all we ever talked about was my cousin, so I don't understand why he's so stuck on me now, we've never even met face to face or anything of the sort...

I did think it was funny at first and I guess I didn't take it seriously, but now I have just gotten off the phone with his childhood friend Porche who told me he's on all kinds of meds for mental illness and that all he does is talk about me to her now...

So, I'm kinda freaked out now...I'm not even sure what to do to make him stop, I've told him I don't like it but all he says is I'm not giving him a chance, ect....

Any ideas how I can stop him? I'm worried that if what Porche told me is true and he has mental issues, whats he going to do if I really make him mad because of the rejection??

View related questions: cousin, moved in, myspace

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A female reader, MissWendlemoot Australia +, writes (24 May 2008):

MissWendlemoot agony auntThe fastest way to get rid of a guy is to act like a bunny boiler. Call him and pester him day and night. Call him at work and bug him. Tell him you want to marry and have 10 babies. He'll disappear so fast you'll see skid marks.

It's funny how it works that way. Ignoring someone makes them like you more but being clingy and obsessive drives them away.

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A female reader, bday121 United States +, writes (24 May 2008):

bday121 agony auntOk, first thing: tell Dewayne you're definitely NOT interested. Be polite but firm and very clear. You should probably do this over the phone so if he does get angry he at least can't hurt you. It might be a good idea to have a friend around so they can witness the call if he threatens violence. Tell him the bulletins need to stop, the calls to your family need to stop, and the calls to you need to stop. Block his number if you have to. Myspace has a feature where you can report abuse. Report him if the bulletins don't cease. This man seems like he has potential to get violent, what with the mental illness and all. If he threatens you or any of your friends or family members, take it seriously. Get a restraining order if you have to. That seems like a bit much, but honestly, you can't be too safe.

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