A
female
age
30-35,
*eyna
writes:Hi dear cupid audience, how are you all?I want to ask for advice, since this is truly destroying me inside. I need help dealing with regret and guilt, i don't know how to stop me from feeling like im worthless. =(The problem is when i go out. It is not always, but there are many times where i cant control myself and i start drinking, and then i start acting very immature and crazy. Ive even slept with people that i barely know and it makes me feel worthless and dirty inside, i hate this, i dont know why i do it but i also not know how to stop. I have this specific friend that everytime i go out with him, we either get in troubles or we end up doing something crazy which i get I feel like the worst person ever, i dont want to hate myself for all this stupid things, can u give me an advice?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 April 2010):
Reyna,
It sounds like when you drink you drink too much and then do things that you later regret and which brings on shame and self-loathing. Some people simply can not process alcohol and once it's in their bodies it causes a major change in their behavior (as well as a craving for more). It can be a hard thing to deal with, but the fact is that people with this condition simply can NOT drink. One drink will trigger this craving and then the behavior follows. This is NOT because you're a bad person, it's a physical reaction to a condition you can not control (or eliminate). It's most likely a lifelong situation.
There is a great deal of help out there, and you are FAR from alone. The solution is avoiding alcohol and seeking support from others with this situation- they understand your situation - especially other you women, who have been there ahead of you- you are not alone.
The fastest route to support and relief is likely to be to contact AA and ask then to have a woman your age call you. She will likely tell you her story, which will be amazingly like yours. Relief and comfort is out there, but so is misery and despair. You've already taken a bold step and asked for help - my recommendation is that tomorrow you pick up the phone and call your local AA hotline and ask them - they will answer, and they will help you.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 April 2010):
 You're doing what I look at as being guilt driven. You'd already done some things, feel bad about doing them, so it'd not a big deal to do them again and again and again. But as you're now noticing, it's not one size guilt fits no matter how many times you take part.
Understand, what you have done is not who you are. They're only acts, and before the act, you are you and after the act you are still you. I recall a quote, and believe it, where it states that "you are better than the worse thing you have ever done." So, it's time for a fresh start. Tonight forgive yourself for this behavior. Do this because where these actions are not you, the guilt and hate associated with what has happened, needs to no longer be part of you. Then make a commitment to yourself. "Tomorrow when I wake up, I will no longer be doing these things that cause me pain. I will wake up, take charge and start living as who I know that I am, and choose to remain."
I think you're worth much more than you give yourself credit for, and to change how you feel about you, you need to start being a representative of someone who deserves respect and start living as the you, that you desire to be.
I hope this helps, take care.
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Try and stop going out, if you know what happens when you do then DONT DO IT!! If you feel worthless then stop doing it!! It's quite simple, just make sure you stop it being a posibilty, you'll have to say no to your friend, it'll be hard, but you can do it, anyone can.
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A
female
reader, fk +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Hi. I've been in this situation many times. I've taken drugs, got hammered, one night stands and generally done all of the shocking things you can think of. I'm definately ashamed of it and now realise that I wasn't able to numb the feeling of worthlesness despite being off my head 24/7. Your not the worst person ever. Your just someone who is struggling right now to cope with the way you are feeling. I'd like to think of it as going through many possibilities of finding ways to feel better. refrain from always going out with people who release your wild side and try to find a hobby. Or do what I did and go out be immature because when things get tough and hard to deal with, being wild and out there helps to blow off steam. It was successful for me. Hope everything works out. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 As mansnake says .But remember SO WHAT .You are young and how the hell will you grow .learn and evolve if you don't make mistakes?Leave all that guilt and self loathing to the offbeat religious types ,they love it.Forgive yourself for not being perfect, the chaos can create a lot of good.
You cant make an ommleete with out breaking a few eggs (like my spelling!)
As you grow older you will realise that self harming is misdirected anger,Life is hard enough with the tax collectors ,criminals and the aliens already.Concentrate on you and your future .Our first emotional /relationship experience are there to help us understand our feelings.The bottom line on suicide is that relly most people don't care about you and your feelings and killing youself would make them all care less! You must care for you,the best of life is yet to come.
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