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How can I still go away with him, but not have sex?

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Question - (14 March 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2008)
A female Ireland age 30-35, *hadowre writes:

ok, iam back with another small prob. me and my boyfriend have only been going out for 3 monhs now and we mess around and all that. he wants me to come to his friends house in the country, its a pretty big house and there having some sort of wedding party for another friend. i'll be staying over.

the think is i want to go but i dont trust myself because i've nearly had sex with him a few times and i think its way to early for that. i just cant control myself around him!! iam like a lil' fire cracker around him!

he is the nicest person ever! were both mature and talk about everything openly even sex and he would never do anything i didnt want to but i kinda do and dont want to have sex with him!

i dont know really what to do! should i go? how do i sort out my wild side? i cant be like that everytime i see him! (not that he minds of course)

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A female reader, shadowre Ireland +, writes (18 March 2008):

shadowre is verified as being by the original poster of the question

shadowre agony auntThanx for the advice and I think I will go! I won't drink a drop of alcohol coz I know when the alco's in, I will do anything!!! (and I only need like a drop of whisky and I'll already be falling over, I am a serious light weight!)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

Oh gawd...lol me and my bf were in a hotel for some days in another state and DON'T THINK that he didn't keep bringing up sex!!!! lol, Oh he doesn't pressure me, but he kept joking around about it, and even if he wasn't I'd still take it as jokes. I got pretty tempted, but we didn't do it. If you feel you couldn't control yourself, don't go.

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A female reader, Gena Bullock United States +, writes (14 March 2008):

Gena Bullock agony auntIf you can't control your urges, then don't go. Or, at least go for the wedding and not spend the night. At least you can be there for a while and enjoy the event and then leave knowing you've done the right thing. Good luck! Gena

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

I suppose it all depends on your reasons for not wanting to have sex yet, whether it's for religious or moral reasons or some sort of fear.

Ok. Here's a solution. You tell this guy that you don't trust yourself around him, and even though you might tell him you want sex, deep down you don't and you do NOT want to get carried away. So no matter what, he's not to take advantage of any weakness you may have for him otherwise you'll never speak to him again. This may be quite a test of his willpower (or won't power) but if he's an honourable sort of chap he'll agree to it.

UNLESS you utter the escape-from-this-agreement word (which can be anything you like, such as 'Condom!') in which case you'll have positively changed your mind and you definitely want to jump his bones, and in which case he also has your permission to give you a good seeing-to.

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A female reader, sexcbex United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2008):

sexcbex agony auntI think you should do what feels right you are old enough to make your own decisions now and its not like you have been together for 2 minutes its been 3 month and many people are starting there sexual realtionships straight away as long as you are taking precations then what can really go wrong. Relax talk to each other about it and see what happens from there i am sure you will decide for yourselves what is the best thing to do. Good Luck !!

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