A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all. Just looking for some advice. basically I need some help on spicing up my sex life! I can't believe I am asking this at 20 years old!!! We have been together 3 years, he is 30. Recently we have gone through a rocky time, I just lost someone very close to me and over the last few months I have felt unsettled and as if I wanted out the relationship - but then deep down I didn't want to leave him (if that makes sense) Anyway, one thing that has bothered me over the last while is the lack of sex!! When we first got together it was constant but the same old all the time! However, now it's gone to barely any!! and when we do, like I said - it's the same, like a routine. I have tried many a time to spice it up a little. What can I do? It's like he doesn't have any patience to go on all night! He said it feels good to be close to me again as I would barely let him hug or kiss me when I felt like I wanted out, so I'm thinking of trying to spice it up to get that closeness back. Any suggestions? thanks!! x
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female
reader, porkchop.xo  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Now I'm not the expert here on sex at all, but I can give you some ideas.
1. change the place you have sex in, for example if it's always in the bedroom, have sex in the shower? outside? go to a hotel and do the deed in someone else's bed!
2. Not sure if you already do this, but try buying sexy outfits, doesn't have to be as riske as a costume, but maybe just a cute corsette or leather booty shorts or something.
3. Try setting the mood, light some candles, start with a massage and use scented oils.
You might already know this, but what does he fantasize about? make it real! What do you fantasize about? Maybe introduce food, strawberries and whip cream, chocolate, ice cream, etc there is a lot of things you can do.
Try looking at www.sexinfo101.com there are plenty of positions and other useful info!
Maybe you're interested in roleplaying? Be a school teacher and he can be a misbehaving student! Anything goes, it's all up to you.
Personally I think if you are stuck in a routine you need to get out of that, by changing location, what positions you do, and what time you do it at. (ie if you are always getting it on at night, wake him up with a bj and do it in the morning)
Hope you guys get close again! :)
A
female
reader, thunderchild +, writes (19 October 2008):
 It is very understandable after loosing some one!
I know some people would suggest toys and things, but for me personally im fine with out, take it one step at a time, be cuddly and show affection, let him feel appreciated, then play it by ear.
As for your sex life, its a fact that the more you have sex the more you want it, your body and mind is reminded how good it is and will want more, after you have that thirst back perhaps try new positions and such...
hope i have helped you out some... all the best
B x
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