A
female
age
30-35,
*hey1990
writes:I have been with my guy for 5 years now and we are kind of happy.... We have a baby- heath. in the last 3 years he hasnt really been very afectionate towards me...when it comes down to having sex... he will only say "are we gonna have sex tonight"... and im not very turned on when he asks me like that so i just say "nah"... and he says "i thought so"... and this happens every night... the only time we do have sex is when im horny... and thats about twice a month.... i love my boyfriend and im never going to break up with him.... i think were fixable... i just dont know how to get him to love me and say it and kiss me and touch me and tell me i look good... i give him compements all the time and i mean them too... i say " you look really good in that shirt"... and "that hait style looks hot"... i want to do the things we did when we were young... like give him head while he was driving or have crazy sex on the kitchen bench with a porno blasting in the back ground... how can i spice things up after having a baby??????
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female
reader, chey1990 +, writes (7 October 2010):
chey1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys for your help.... i will try all of these things and i will get back to you and tell u how they went.... any more sugestions would b welcome!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is so easy, from a guys perspective...Cook dinner for him only in your pantiesNext time you are watching TV together, wear a see thru shirt and no bra (wife beater)Give him a BJright against the door the second we walks thru the door from work,Go out on a date night and wear a shirt that gales open with a sheer, or no, braWhen you are in for the night, wear longerie When u wear any or all of the above, don't huddle yourself in a ball. Bend over seductively to pick up the remote, put your ass in his face, serve him a beer giving him a long look down your top, make him watch you masturbate...Are you seeing a pattern here? It's all so easy for you gals to get us excited. Just show us some visuals!consider our predicament. It's much more difficult. To get you excited, we have to navigate the emotional mine field, say just the right words - but not too much, or not enough - exhaust ourselves with foreplay, etc...it's a lot of work and very confusing. All you need to do is put on some gauzy clothes and bend over, and voilà
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A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I'm 21, have 2 kids with my fiance, so i know what you're going through, and I hope i can help.
do you have anyone who can babysit for you? If not maybe find a babysitter. If someone you trust can take care of your baby, then that will make you both relaxed. Organize for that night whatever turns you guys on... Whatever food you both like, the porno if you want, etc. You wont' be afraid of the baby starting to cry and interuppting and you can really enjoy yourselves.
Maybe take control every now and then, make a change. When he asks if you're going to have sex just say yes more than twice a month and do what you want to do. If you want longer foreplay, deny him entrance for a while. And if you don't want control, tell him you can have sex but he must choose positions, etc.
I know how difficult and exhausting it can be but I hope my suggestions helped, if only a little.
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