A
female
age
41-50,
*unystar1
writes:I have been with my husband for 4 years. We just married 3 months ago and I am finding out that everything has been a big lie. He saw the sweet giving person I am and jumped on for the ride. He is 4 years younger than me. I have taught him alot about life, love, business, and advocating for his own worth. I have done so much for this man. Sweeped him off his feet and gave him a life he never had. I oay for all the bills and all the care of our 2 kids which they were gifts too. I was told not to have more children after a life battle with multiple rare neurological problems before we met. It would risk my life. I got pregnant 2x through birth control because of my brain problems not recognizing birth control. I have a condition that actually makes me extremely fertile (I no its seems unreal) but both preg's happened through birth control and PLAN B. After both babies, I was hospitialized with extreme failing health. He was not supportive. He actually left me during the 2nd pregnancy because he was not being treated right. Yet I payed for everything, let him use my 2 cars whenever, cooked meals, fixed his plates and served him. I am a stylist so i pampered him with all kinds of spa treatments. I even was shaving him every other day, did his hair everyday, pedicures, manicures and massage. I actually care for him just as if he was a child with even more benefits. He has never given me what I have him. He still says I don't treat him right. I have stopped doing much of what I use to. I still pay for everything and the kids needs too. I have sex when he wants 90% of the time. But I know I have been used. Look, he wouldn't even touch my belly when I was pregnant and its all I asked for. Just to connect with the babies while I was pregnant in case I died during delivery. I think he hoped for that so he could get all the benefits, cars, house, and social security without me being alive. Something is just not right with him. I blame his mother for it. She lies to him for 21 years about his father not being his real father. I feel like he has done the old saying...u hurt the ones u love and love u the most. Its like I am the punching bag for all that has been done to him. He now makes comments that I use to make. I thought he was starting to see the role switch but he only screamed - he is the victim. I am ready to let go and it will hurt. I have out so much in to this man and another woman is gonna reap the teachings and effort. But will he miss me? When he is out there having to clothe, feed and support himself and the 2 children that I will file support for/ Plus I will ask for alimony of the 4 years I cared for him in amounts of 20,000$ a year with his promise that once we got married and he felt secure in our relationship that he would do it for me. Its all been lies. He just wanted to get the legal part of joint custody and thought he would get the house and cars seperated, but it was all premarital property. Life is not gonna be easier for him but he is just to stubborn. Any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): Youre an angel and get my halo of the year award. I will refrain from saying any vulgar comments about your husband. I see this relationship already downhill, headed for that tree with the squirrel running upside of it. I think you should push for sole custody as I dont think this man is a good role model and depending on how old the kids are, the court may fall on the tender years presumption where they feel the mom is best for kids at a certain age. I dont feel sorry for your husband's parents. My childhood was lets say pretty damn rough and Ill argue you cant compare to 90% of society. I chose my life. Made myself who I am, thru divorced parents...one of which I didnt see for over ten years. He had his chance at coming into his own and in all honesty, he's failed. I support your decision (or implied thereof) for divorce. You deserve a balanced relationship, a supportive man, and most importantly, a phenomenal gentleman. Drop me a message anytime. all the best to you miss.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 You sound like such an amazing wife. He definitely does not deserve someone like you and you do not deserve an incompetent harlequin of a husband like him. You deserve someone better. That goes without question. Leave him, whatever hindrance he faces is his problem and his punishment for mistreating someone like you.
Care not for him anymore, care for yourself and care for your children. I hope perhaps, you find a man who will love you and treat you just as well as you treat him, he will care for you and devote his heart and soul to you just as you have done. Leave this man, he has already gotten more than he deserves. Take care.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, nightshade41 +, writes (6 October 2010):
No I do not think he will miss you, but if it is any consolation he will do the same to her. I suggest you put yourself back into the market, but this time be a little wiser about who you choose. He sounds like a cold unappreciative fish.
Then again, you did too much. A marriage should be equal. that means equal responsibility equal efforts. give and take. A woman has emotional needs any good man will know this.
Move on, look for somebody who is not so self involve. I am sure he is a handsome man, they always get the best women and make them miserable.
wish you the best
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