A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 years old and enlisted in the United States Airforce. I have a girlfriend well ex now girlfriend who is 16 years old. I have been dating her since i was 14 years old and I lost my virginity to this girl. My first true love and basically only at this age. I love her so much we have had our up and downs etc but no matter how far we try to get away from each other we cant stay away for long. Unfortunately my mom whom i love with during my inactive time wont let her over to see me because her personal opinion of her and her worries about our age difference and jail time for me. They should have thought about this before she let us together when we first met. How can i talk to her about the subject. I leave again for Active duty In march of next year I would like to spend some time with her before i leave and sometimes in the comfort of my own home. Please help :\
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male
reader, lazyman87  +, writes (21 October 2009):
as far as the age difference goes, i don't think it's a problem, but maybe it's different in the States with age of consent law, for example. i for one think the age difference is nothing worrying.
but if she's your "ex" then maybe it's time to move on. you need to talk to her about how your active service will affect you. by the way, top work, it's something i could never do.
it's something you two need to talk about because you clearly have feelings for her, you need to know if they're reciprocated.
man, it's a tough one. i would be completely open with her. you've got to meet her somewhere quiet and personal, but somewhere she'll feel comfortable. tell her everything, ask her opinion. your get-out clause can be that you wanted to be certain of your and her position before you went out. say it will settle your mind.
best of luck. hopefully someone else can be more specific.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Listen to your mom for now. You are adult person but she is only 16 years old. Its dengerous for you to love someone under age. Just incase if she got pregent or whatever you have to be in jail. Jail time for long time. OK. you'll lose everything.So, just be paitant and wait until she's 18 years old.If she truly love you she will wait for you too. But let her understand you. Tell her like you're not break up with her but you need to wait until she's 18.If is not dangerous for you.I hope she will understand you.Talk to her very clam and carefully.And make sure you tell her, you love her so much and you have feauture with her for rest of your life( if you want to). And tell her that if she really love you wait for you 2years and you guys will live together.Tell her you will come back to her as soon as she 18. OK. I hope my answer help for you. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): My situation is somewhat similar. I'm 15 and my boy is 18. U may just have to be patient. And if she loves you, she will wait for you she won't want to go to prom or homecoming with another boy.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 October 2009):
 I'm confused, if she is your "ex now girlfriend" why does any of this matter?But, this does bring up the old topic of the two year age difference with teens. You are absolutely right your Mom should have been talking to you when you were 14. If you wonder what you would have said back then check out some posts here on age difference. You would have said age is just a number, we are really in love, we can overcome anything! No use blaming Mom now. You're 18 and responsible for your own decisions. If you are currently separated with your Ex/girlfriend, then the right thing to do is to let it stay that way. You have no future to offer her. She will be in high school for the next 2 years. You will be Active Duty in less than 6 months. You will live where ever Uncle Sam says. And your CO will not be amused with a Statutory rape charge or a Child support judgment. She will still be home and in school and wanting to go to the Prom and Homecoming with a boy her age. You want her to pine away alone while you are nowhere near? She probably is your ex because she doesn't want that. So the real problem is you are in limbo for 6 months. You need to do something with your time. Get a part time or seasonal Job. There is plenty of Christmas work. Or get some Schooling in. The Air Force appreciates education. You should try to get as much education on their dime as you can. Then in 2 years when she is ready to go to college you will be on the same mental level as her. And, should the unlikely occur and she sticks with you through High School and College, You will Be a Sergeant with a good pay rate and will be in position to make a marriage offer.In six years she will be 22 and you will be 24 and that age difference won't mean anything. Your Commitment to the Air Force Will be almost over and with 2 degrees between you, you can have any future you choose. But for now just play it cool.FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 October 2009):
I hate to tell you this, but your mum may be write on this one. The last thing you need right now is to get into trouble and then lose your job. I would suggest asking your mother if she would let this girl over to see you during the day, but other than that, you might be better off focusing on your career at the moment. Don't ruin it before you've the chance to live it.
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