A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid I am with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. When we first start dating he would flirt, cyberchat with other girls, while still dating me. He dumped me once three months after being with me and we got back together a month later. During our time together, he still e-mailed with his exes and e-mailed this other girl online. Recently one of his ex's emailed him to get back together, and he replied and emailed back to her because we were having some fights. We had an abortion a few months ago, so our relationship has gone crazy after that. I feel hurt but he doesn't want to break up because he loves me and wants to marry me someday. He's become very angry and say he would hate me, and I am the worst person ever if I break up with him. I can tell he is hurt and angry, but the things he does very destroy my trust of him. He said he is not seeing his ex and he is staying with me, so for me being mad at him is being unreasonable and being overly jealous. Breaking up is not allowed because it pisses him off and he doesn't want to deal with it. I love him but I don't know what to do. I am sorry for the wordy essay, but I hope to get some responce for my problem, thanks.
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abortion, flirt, get back together, got back together, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 Talk to him again and explain that you feel he's taking advantage and why you think he is. You can't go on with these feelings and its either you try to sort them out or you move on and find someone else.
xxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys, thanks for all the responses. I do feel like I want someone who has more respect and care for me than that. He told me he didn't know it was not right and he was being stupid, but he is already 26 and don't you know he should know a little better than that? He wouldn't mind helping out his friends and other people, but when it comes to me,his girlfriend, sometimes he would hesitate to help. I am pretty independent and I try not to ask people for help unless I have to. Right now,he is in between jobs, so everything we go out each us pay for our own things and sometimes I don't even mind help him out a little. He used to pay for his ex girls,and he still think I am not being understanding when I just want him to treat me to a movie once a while. I love him but I also feel like he been taking advantages of me.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (14 July 2007):
Heya hunni.
He seems to be having the best of both worlds- you the doting girlfriend at home and his online "friends". It doesn't sound like a very fair relationship to me, and I think you are feeling that too. He cannot blackmail you in to not ending it with him. That is just wrong.
If you feel you need out then get out hunni. If he tries to say he'lol hate you etc then ignore it. He'll soon realise what he's missing. But before you even think about going there again you have to make him understand that things will have to change.
My advice is to get rid and find someone who has some respect for you. You will feel so much better in yourself when this guy isn't dragging you down :D
xxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 My advice is that you do break up with this man. What you describe is an awful relationship. He doesn't respect you in the least. He doesn't loveyou: if he did, he wouldn't behave the way he does. And, I feel like he is keeping you hostage. You CAN'T break up with him because HE says it's not justified. Wow. Are you sure he flirted and had contact with other women only "online"? I'm not so sure of it.
Do break up with him. You need a healthy relationship.
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