A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a scorpio male, late twenties. and for the past year i've been infatuated with a taurus woman i work with. Everything she does is simply fascinating to me. I find myself watching her and trying to read her and understand her, but there is something that just eludes me. It's like a veil around her and i can't clearly see what's behind. Sometimes i think i may have caught a glimpse of who she is deep down, then something she does throws me off or just shows me i was off base. Now, a few weeks ago i decided to finally make my move and ask her out as she seemed not to be dating anyone. But when i did ask, she told me no. Never turning down a challenge, even though she means more to me than a mere prize to win, i kept on asking her out until finally she told me that it wasn't me she didn't want to date and left. At first i thought she might be gay, but something told me there was something deeper to her answer. Earlier this week i finally got her to tell me just what she meant by that and she did. She has forgone on relationsgips altogether. She doesn't date, she doesn't even sleep with men on a casual level. She simply doesn't want anything to do with relationships since her freshman year of college. i asked her why, and she told me of her past, with her family and her siblings, all of whose relationships had ended badly. She didn't see the point in putting herself out there, trusting someone with dreams of building a life with them only to be deceived and hurt. Her family has really done a number on her. I asked her if she might ever open herself up to a relationhip one day depending on the right person and she couldn't give me an answer. How can i show her that she means more to me than a simple, meaningless fling? I've really become extremely attached to her. Very protective and possessive to the point that it shocks me even.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Foxxy1 +, writes (16 September 2012):
Just go for it and tell her how you feel. Tell her you are willing to be friends first so you can show her your true intentions by not putting too much pressure on a status. Then if its meant to be you really want to be with her. Agreeing to a date tells me she may be open. SO go for it.
A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (16 September 2012):
If I were you I would SLOW down. She is obviously NOT in the right mindset/time in her life to begin a serious relationship. Whether she has been "brain-washed" by her family or not, you need to respect her boundaries. I don't blame her for being so timid to devote her heart to a man. I am in a happy relationship now but a few years ago I was also terrified (like this girl) to start dating again because I had been hurt so bad by the man I was with before.
For now I suggest you continue to be her friend. Perhaps after you two become closer and she is able to trust you as a friend she will let you into her heart. On the other hand, after getting to know her better YOU might find out you have nothing in common with her and will move on.
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