A
male
age
36-40,
*venger08
writes:I was with a girl for 5 years. Over the last 3 years, I left her for my ex, that I very quickly realized was a big mistake and and that I loved the girl I was originally with and that the only reason I jumped back to my ex was to run from problems that I was having in the relationship that I could have fixed with some good old fashioned elbow grease. Things were now going great once again but then a girl from work kissed me after I was telling her that everything was going to be ok with problems that she was having in her relationship and I had told her what happened with mine and how I fixed it. After that happened, yeah I did hide it from my girl and that's when the lying started. I am not sure why it started either but she found out everything when it all came out yes we had big problems and she lost all trust but she stuck by my side because she loved me. Ever since then we would fight all the time, but it was only little arguments here and there and sometimes big blow ups and we would always end the fights with saying "it's over" and then get back together 5 min latter. In 2010 everything started to break down. She met another guy thanks to a friend of hers she claimed nothing happened before we broke up but I later found pictures. We broke up in August 2010, and a week latter she was dating this guy. Now this guy is a very controlling, manipulative guy. She used to be very open, and not scared of anything. As of November 2010, she has lost a bunch of friends due to her new guy not telling her talk to anyone and she is not allowed to go out with out him with her. He has said straight out that he does not like her family, she found out that he has had another girlfriend this whole time and when she confronted him, he turned it around and blamed the whole thing on her. She is living with him and they have been evicted from 3 houses in 3 months because they don't work so they couldn't pay the rent, they also couldn't even afford food. He has just recently started a job and now they are moving to a new place in 2 days. He works during the week downtown from 12 noon - 12am during that time she talks to me on msn, or arranges to go to her moms house and her mom then calls me over. She can't call me because he checks her phone and when they fight he takes her cell phone. I have always known that she still loves me, she wears the ring I gave her but she says she has to take it off because she gets too depressed and he questions her. She has told me that she does want to get back together but not right now.Her mom, friends, and family all agree that this guy has turned her from the fun loving, caring, brave girl to someone that well from what one person says "battered wife syndrome" ha ha ha. I believe that she is just scared to leave him because he has a few restraining orders and charges from past girlfriends all based around the same situation. As well as she's afraid that we will just get back into the same routine of fighting. I have told her that I don't want to fight, and that I want to work hard on our relationship but I would need her to help and that I actually want to get married, have kids, and buy a house. She wants all the exact same stuff. She says she thinks about it all the time.I am sorry for the big essay but I believe it is better to know the whole story behind the question.The big question is how can I show her that I'll do anything to get her back and that I can work hard and that it will work out. (She seems to think that I am still going to lie and flirt and talk to other girls. I told her I would do anything for her because I love her deeply and that she's the one I want to start a family with.Any advice for a guy with a broken heart?
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broke up, depressed, flirt, get back together, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): How do you just be friends? I have a hard time doing that because i am a very loving guy. I like to spoil my girl and treat her like a princess. For me to just be her friend is really hard because I always want so much more and I'm afraid I will just be like "I love you, I want you, I miss you" all the time.
Understand what I mean?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): How do you just be friends? I have a hard time doing that because i am a very loving guy. I like to spoil my girl and treat her like a princess. For me to just be her friend is really hard because I always want so much more and I'm afraid I will just be like "I love you, I want you, I miss you" all the time.
Understand what I mean?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Be her friend first. You and her family should be trying to persuade her to leave this man. She is better off with anyone but him. He has overstepped his boundaries with her and now, the girl everyone used to love has been battered inside and buried beneath a monster's claw. So be there for her as a friend, as her shoulder to cry on when she leaves him and you have to persuade her to do that. I do not think she is safe with this man. Something tells me that one day she will get hurt, she cannot stay with him. Make her leave him and then show her how happy she will be with you, start from friendship and then slowly, over time, become someone she loves again.
I hope that helps.
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