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How can I relax in order to orgasm?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *mjo writes:

Me and my boyfriend had amazing sex on saturday night, I've never cum from penatrative sex before but i felt i was getting close on saturday. However once i realised this i focused on it too much and was unable to orgasm. How can i keep myself relaxed in order to orgasm?

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A female reader, SeXylOvE12 United States +, writes (26 January 2010):

SeXylOvE12 agony auntThis info is all from www.clitical.com. It's a great site dedicated all to female pleasure. Check it out!

Top 10's for Female Orgasms

1. Take charge. Many women are taught that orgasms are out of their hands. If they have a lousy lover, then they are out of luck. Who is in charge here? You have to take charge. You are responsible for your own orgasm. Sure, a skillful lover is most definitely a plus, but not necessary for you to orgasm. Take matters into your own hands, figuratively and literally. You don't have to rely on anyone else for your orgasms.

2. Get to know your body and your sexual response. Inorgasmia is 5 times higher in women who have never masturbated before and know very little about their body. Out of approximately 10% of women who have never had an orgasm, 95% have never masturbated. The best way to learn to orgasm is to masturbate.

3. Relax. Relax and enjoy yourself. Don't pressure yourselves to have an orgasm. You can actually stop yourself from having an orgasm by trying too hard. You'd do better to focus on the journey, rather than the destination. If you take your time and focus on the journey - on the erotic sensations you are receiving, then you will experience more pleasure, more enjoyment, and a greater likelihood that you will reach orgasm.

4. Breathe. Concentrate on deep, slow, even breaths. Many women hold their breath as they are stimulated. This can hinder the orgasmic process in some women.

5. Physical Focus. Focus on stimulating your clitoris. Did you know that 2/3 of women do not orgasm through vaginal penetration alone? Most women require additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation, to orgasm.

6. Mental Focus. Your thinking can influence your orgasmic concentration. If you have a negative or defeated attitude - if you're too busy thinking, ?This is never going to work!" - then you're right. This will work against you. You aren't in the right orgasm-producing state of mind. Think positively. Concentrate on the erotic sensations you are experiencing.

7. Vibrator. Many women who have difficulty in achieving orgasm experience their first one with a vibrator. Vibrators can provide the consistent rhythm and stimulation that orgasm may require. While many vibrators are penis shaped, and therefore suggest insertion into the vagina, your best bet is to focus on the outside, by holding or rubbing the vibrator against your clitoris, as most women do not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone - even with a vibrator.

8. PC Muscles. Some women claim they got their first orgasm after strengthening their PC muscles and then activating them during sex.

9. Let Yourself Go. Many women who struggle to reach orgasm tend to remain passive during stimulation. They don't help their bodies shift into orgasm. You can't will an orgasm to happen, but you can encourage it or resist it. When you get to the point where you feel an orgasm is right around the corner, then let yourself go and encourage your orgasm by getting active and thus pulling your orgasmic triggers: when you breathe, breathe heavily; when you start moaning, don't resist it - moan loudly; when you feel like thrusting your hips, really buck them; toss your head back; scream out in ecstasy; point your toes; grab your breasts; contort your face; clamp your eyes shut; flex your vaginal muscles. Sometimes, you may have to help your body take over and shift into orgasm.

10. Practice. Practice makes perfect, you know. Besides, it's a heck of a lot of fun, too!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010):

well i had the same problem; and wht i was told to do is relax and breath slowly not to deeply or fast and just think about the moment and how good it feels. dont try to force urself cuz it wont happen.

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