A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this coworker of mine who I like. We work for a construction company. He's the warehouse manager and I'm a project manager.He's just a nice guy and we have good chemistry. I'm 22 and he's 37.A few weeks ago, I asked him out to lunch. He called me the day of checking to make sure we were still on. For some reason I ended up cancelling.We rescheduled lunch for the following week.He stood me up this time. I called him and he said he was shorthanded and busy and he apologized and said things are just crazy in the warehouse. I told him he's an asshole and he said that is uncalled for and he apologized profusely.I also apologized for calling him a name, and I said my feelings were hurt. He said he would never purposely stand me up and he's sorry. He said lets start over again, and he wants to be my friend.I feel silly for getting so upset, I've just never been stood up before. Is the relationship ruined? Or can we still be friends?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 February 2015):
 I think you should STICK to a professional work relationship with this guy. chemistry or not.
I agree with Aidan, that you are a tad unreasonable. You cancelled on a WHIM (and that was OK), but he cancelled due to work (and you blew a gasket and called him names).
I honestly am surprised he wants anything to do with you at all.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (26 February 2015):
This doesn’t make sense. You cancelled on him, and it was okay. He did the same, and you lost it? I can understand your upset if you turned up to the venue and he didn’t show up. Even though you were wrong to use the words you did, you would have been entitled to point out the lack of courtesy on his part for not giving you advanced notice of the cancellation. You should accept his apology and agree always to let each other know in advance in future.
If, however, he had given you notice, your reaction was disproportionate. How would you have felt if he’d behaved that way when you pulled out? You will need to have a conversation to clear the air. Tell him you were in the wrong, acknowledge that you weren’t entitled to complain like that and that you recognise your behaviour was unacceptable. Tell him you value the friendship and that you hope he will accept your apology and agree to move on.
I wish you all the very best.
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