A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am willing to do whatever it takes to relate and understand the mind of my man. He has recently withdrawn, but doesnt ignore me, still seems interested. I am very curious to know how i am able to regnite or inspire emoctional attraction to reconnect, i am very confident he is physically and intellecrually attracted, he is very honest and upfront and rella me i am special and that i am not selfish and i have a good heart, makes me smile always. I am so lonely, fraustrated and confused with this relationship bump make or break, please i WOULD appreciate any advice. tips, opinions, secrets on the rule book ! Thank you for any help :-) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, well we have been seeing each other for 5 years, we have slept at each others houses for days at a time, i have driven his car, had his house keys, ran his errands together, he is very respectful of me, we almost had a baby last year but i was too scared to take it to that level and made a very huge decisión to not go through with it i believe Thats when i sensed how distant he became after also he is in school for his masters degree, it seems as though he is fighting himself with his feelings because he always says things like: your my spanish ( my nickname he always calls me by) am scecial, am the only one he's honest with, always defends my name/me and reports to me the things conversations he has with people that say bad things to him to brainwash him, he is very very jealous/insecure about my male best friend. I get confused when i say certain things and he says " you try" or asks me " we are pretending, right?" as if he was unsure that the way it goes seems too good to be true. I deeply care about him and no one has ever showed me consistenly good behaviour/ manners towards a woman. I have only told him i like him but never showed or told him my feelings for him have grown. Even the intamacy between us is more intense, like the way we kiss i can feel something! i think the reason he withdrew because i stopped indulging in him to protect myself incase .... In case of i dont know, i just need a little boost to reconnect him as i dont think i have ever been in a relationship so exposed the way it is now no hard work at all just seems we are both stuck, shy, scared? he is an awesome listener so i just need the right words to inspire him back, he mentioned once that we shouldnt let certain things come between us, my thoughts tell me to not go too deep too fast and my intentions tell me it's real and am worth it ! Please any advice would be so appreciated and helpful because I am soo stuck is it worth trying to figure out how to inspire him ? And if so how ? I am very honest with him I am not a doormat I do what's healthy and safe for me I am not needy or insecure maybe he withdrew because maybe I am too intimidating , bitch maybe he is shocked he has not meet a mentally mature in control of myself woman ? Soo confused! :-(
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 I guess that to be of any help we should have more details about your relationship, and
this perceived "withdrawal "- what does he do exactly to make you think he is withdrawing ? was it out of the blue, or after an argument, or a personal problem, etc ? ...
Because, the way you tell it... nothing sounds wrong. He is attracted to you, phisically and intellectually, he does not ignore you,he compliments you, etc.
So, what is it that's different from before ?
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