A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28 and in a stable relationship.The past few months my man and I have spoken about children and when we feel will be the right time.At first M was saying he wanted to wait several years, then he said when I felt ready. I admitted to him that I am ready now and suddenly he said to wait a year and ask him then..My issue is not waiting until he's ready, as I really want him to be ready. My issue is that I have really irregular menses and often it only happens 3 to 4 times per yr. This means a likely high chance that I will not fall pregnant easily. Ive done a heap of research on it all lately and the more i read about people struggling to fall pregnant, the more i panic that we shouldnt be waiting several years.Ive had tests in the past that all came back negative, the verdict was just that its me and i'll always have irregularity. The Gyno also said I may have problems when it comes to conceiving and to go back then to try fertility drugs.I'd love to start trying naturally first.Ive tried to bring this worry up with M but he now just says that we've discussed all this and to stop worrying. He doesn't seem to understand. I suppose im just a bit lost with what to do. I can't force him, I'd never try anything to 'accidently' fall pregnant but I really worry. I even suggested that we stop using protection and just see what happens (knowing its more likely that I wont fall pregnant anytime soon but when I do, it's meant to be) but he freaked at the idea (which is fair if hes not ready yet). Its making me quite depressed and anxious...I suffer anxiety anyway so that isnt helping..I dont know what to do! any ideas?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 My apologies for confusing the two.
Actually, if you just have irregular periods then it doesn't necessarily mean you won't have trouble conceiving naturally. It means you're going to have a heck of time tracking down your ovulation.
Actually part of my advice still applies. If he's not ready there's nothing you can do about it, to make him ready to try for a baby. He said in a year's time, I would hold him to that. You constantly bringing it up isn't going to make him change his mind any sooner. It's only going to make him feel even more pressured and put off by the idea. You're going to have to let it go for now.
Perhaps talk to a counselor about your anxiety and depression.
Here's a website that also caters to women who are waiting to try (WTT)
www.babyandbump.com
Basically an online forum support.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response tennisstar88 but I didnt write that other question...I see how they are pretty similar though.
I actually was all clear for PCOS, just told my body wasn't regular and this does stress me out a bit when it comes to thinking of baby planning. My circumstances are different to that other persons (i actually did answer her also) so hopefully i'll still get some insight as to what others think in my case... thanks though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): I think this is a completely different writer, just similar questions...
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 November 2011):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/eleven-years-together-i-am-seriously-clucky-for.html
Maybe you'll update this time.
Upon your research, are you aware that there are pills you can take now to regulate your period? Ask your gyno about Metformin.
Did you also know that even though you don't have a period that you can still ovulate (depending upon your blood tests)? But not as much as a woman who has a regular period.
The key word is you MAY have trouble conceiving naturally. It doesn't mean that you won't ever conceive naturally, it means it may take longer than the average couple to conceive. Also, don't discount having a child scientifically if it came down to it.
You're 28, you still have time to get pregnant. What's the rush? Is it because your biological time clock just went off?
Like I've said before you CAN'T make your boyfriend be ready to have a baby. You're putting pressure on him by constantly dragging on and on about it. That's NOT going to make him want to have children any sooner. He told you in a year. That's fairly reasonable.
You've already explained your PCOS to him. He doesn't understand because he isn't a woman and his biological time clock isn't ticking. Even with your PCOS, he still isn't ready to start trying for a baby.
Stop bringing up the issue, and ACCEPT that he isn't ready.
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