A
female
age
30-35,
*hoe
writes:Hi me and my boyfriend were together for more than 6 months, he was the perfect guy and I know I cant find someone like him anymore. The other day he was looking through some pic on my phone just randomly. but I showed a reaction that he got suspicious, so he looked through all my TXTs and BB messenger. I have a lot of guy friends and I'm really close to them and we txt all the time(things that would make my bf think i was cheating) My bf didn't say anything there but i knew something was wrong. the next day he sent a txt saying it not gonna work out between us anymore, he still doesn't admit that the txting was the problem, he said it was him and he has problems and he was gonna break up with me even before that! WHICH I DON'T BELIEVE! He says that because he doesn't wanna upset me , i know that for sure. He's even said that to his friend, that he cant trust me anymore even if we do get back together. Now how can I prove that they were just friends and make him believe me? i mean shall i keep calling him or shall i give him some time to think? then call? I neeeeeed helppp !!!
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female
reader, Choe +, writes (24 February 2011):
Choe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right but when i called him on that day to see whats happening and he talked to me on the phone explaining everything to me, it wasn't just a txt, the other thing is the txt weren't THAT inappropriate, i mean it showed how close i was to them, nothing sexual or showing any signs of love or anything else, i count them as my female friends you know! like one night i really needed to talk to someone so i turned to one of them saying how much i need to talk to them and etc. (he saw that txt) or even there was this guy that wanted to meet up with me but i was making up some excuse saying maybe next time... lab lab lab. in a cheeky way but i did say no at the end. (he probably expects me to say i have bf) but i did learn from it , you are right!! I just cant get over him, its too hard!! Because i feel like it was my mistake that drove him away!!! His best friend is going out with my best friend right now and there will be places where i will meet him again and he also said we could stay friends... i also don't know what to do there!! but thanks for you answer anyway. helped a lot.
A
female
reader, Choe +, writes (24 February 2011):
Choe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right but when i called him on that day to see whats happening and he talked to me on the phone explaining everything to me, it wasn't just a txt, the other thing is the txt weren't THAT inappropriate, i mean it showed how close i was to them, nothing sexual or showing any signs of love or anything else, i count them as my female friends you know! like one night i really needed to talk to someone so i turned to one of them saying how much i need to talk to them and etc. (he saw that txt) or even there was this guy that wanted to meet up with me but i was making up some excuse saying maybe next time... lab lab lab. in a cheeky way but i did say no at the end. (he probably expects me to say i have bf) but i did learn from it , you are right!! I just cant get over him, its too hard!! Because i feel like it was my mistake that drove him away!!! His best friend is going out with my best friend right now and there will be places where i will meet him again and he also said we could stay friends... i also don't know what to do there!! but thanks for you answer anyway. helped a lot.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 February 2011):
He dumped you by text? And you think you won't find anyone better? I bet you a million pounds you will. To add to that, he's also said that he can't trust you.
I actually think that he might have been telling you the truth when he was saying he wanted to break up before this. I think that finding those messages was just the kick he needed to do it. Also, if they were enough to make him think you were cheating (as you admitted), then I think you need to look at your behaviour with those male friends. If I saw messages that made me think my girlfriend was cheating, there would be little to convince me otherwise.
The man dumped you by text - far from perfect.
You were inappropriately messaging male friends - a bad sign for you.
He's really not willing to talk about it - meaning he's almost certainly made up his mind.
He has said he could never trust you again - meaning he doesn't want to either.
I think you need to move on. I don't think any calls, or any time will make him change his mind especially if he was callous enough to end it by text, and even more so if those messages were enough to make him think you were cheating (that is something you will need to stop for future relationships - you'll lose other guys as well otherwise.)
There is no way you can prove that messages such as those were just friendly, and there is no way you can make him trust you. All that has to come from him, and he seems unwilling to make it work.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "things that would make my bf think i was cheating" "He's even said that to his friend, that he cant trust me anymore even if we do get back together." "i mean shall i keep calling him or shall i give him some time to think? then call?" I'm just one man but once trust leaves the relationship it's very hard, if not impossible, to reintroduce trust and nurture it again. I think it's over and if you keep calling him he will think your calling validates his assumption and subsequent decision.
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