A
female
age
36-40,
*ovelyDove
writes:Hello!I was dating my fiance for a year and we lived together until I looked on his myspace and saw that him and his co worker were messaging each other back and forth with questionable content and it clearly pointed to him being involved with her... when I saw this I was really stressed out and just acted on instinct and began to throw all his stuff out in the hall, when he got home I told him to get out. Now I have realized that I may have over reacted to it and I should have talked to him about the situation. We been talking lately and he says that he wants to get back together just what is holding him back is the fear that I might kick him out again... so how can I prove to him that I will not do it again and that I have learned from my actions? I told him that I wasn't going to do it again but he said he wants to know for sure...and im not a crazy girlfriend this is the first time I act in this matterAny help will be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much in advance
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co-worker, fiance, get back together, myspace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 Why should you be the one who has to prove anything? He was the one who seemed to be cheating, or close to it. If you ask me, he should be the one graveling, promising you he won't be cruising another chick behind your back.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 November 2008):
 "When he tells you he doesn't trust you won't kick him out again he is making sure that you feel so bad about it that when you catch him cheating or talking in a suspicious way to a woman again you will be afraid to react."
Yes!!!
Couldn't have said it better.
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A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (13 November 2008):
 I was going to say the same thing. Even if he didn't act out a physical relationship with the co worker just talking about it on myspace is very wrong. Especially since she is someone he works with. So my question to you is why do you have to prove anything? And some advice. When he tells you he doesn't trust you won't kick him out again he is making sure that you feel so bad about it that when you catch him cheating or talking in a suspisous way to a woman again you will be afraid to react. He is securing your fear to react in a natural way. More details on your situaton may prove a different answer.
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A
female
reader, nolanative89 +, writes (13 November 2008):
I've been in this situation before and its very easy to jump to conclusions. In order to prevent any misunderstandings I believe everything needs to be laid out on the table. Myspace is getting a lot of people in trouble these days. Maybe limits need to be set in the relationship to prevent any other problems. If you feel something might have been going on maybe eliminating her out of the equation unless its on a professional level couldn't hurt.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 November 2008):
I have no idea how he managed to make you think that you overreacted and that you need to prove yourself to him. Ummm, isn't he the cheater? Didn't HE do YOU wrong, not the other way round?
I think that he needs to begging to get back into your house, you don't need to do any grovelling. You're not a crazy girlfriend - he's a crazy boyfriend to have cheated on you and expect you to making promises to change your behavior when it's HIS behavior that needs to make a major shift.
Make no apologies and wait to hear a genuine from him before you let him back into your crib.
xx India
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 November 2008):
Well how can he prove that he wont cheat on you with a co-worker again.
For someone who is engaged to be married to do that... I think you acted perfectly rationally.
Why is it you having to prove anything???
Good Luck!! xx
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