A
male
age
36-40,
*nyx
writes:Hello, I have a hard question to ask?Me and my (i guess i should say ex-girlfriend) have been going out for almost three years until we just recently broke up 2 weeks ago. The first two years of dating were absolutely great, only a few arguments but we got over them. Now after our first year of college is done (we go to the same college so distance isn't the issue) she really wants to move out and start working full time and not go to college. but i still want to go to college for one more year and feel that we couldn't afford to move out. That is one issue we had and another is that i never took control of anything i did. I always did what people wanted me to do not what i wanted to do for them. (if you under stand what i'm talking about) And since we have been apart I have changed and realized what i was doing and i even told her how stupid i was and how much i have changed and will continue to change. We still keep in touch and we grab lunch somewhere or just visit each other for an hour and talk about new things. I done many romantic things for her such as: brought her favorite flowers to her that i picked off the side of the road. I have visited her at work and so on and we have so much fun together still but i feel that she still doesn't believe that i have changed to be a better person. What else could I ever do to makeup for how big of a jerk i was before? and prove to her i changed? Everytime i ask her out on a date again she says it's just not time for that yet. and everytime i visit her i tell her how i truly feel and she just ignores the conversation. today when i visited her i told her i wanted to kiss her again and she said she wanted to also but we couldn't. What does she mean by that? i mean if i want her and she wants me what is there to stop us?I need some understanding on this situation. So if you could please respond.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (30 June 2007):
 Dear onyx,
It takes alot for someone to belive that the other person has changed cause 99.9% of the time when someone says they changed they always change for a month or so or intil they get what they want and then go right back to being the same way they was befor.
What you can do to prove that you havent changed is just keep doing what you are doing now and take it slow dont push things, and then when she fully relizes it for herself that you have changed for the better and you are going to stay that way then she will tell you but only when the time is right.
When you told her you wanted to kiss her and she did to but couldnt that probly ment that she wanted to kiss you but then she couldnt cause she dont want to get back together right now and if she did kiss you she would want to be right back into your arms and right now she dont want to date, so just take it slow and work on things with her.
Also isnt there away you can get a job and go to collage? Well good luck and i hope it all works out for you...
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