A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone : ),I ned some really important advice. Im supposed to start my freshman year of college next month but I feel like I'm not ready at all but everyone tells me taking a semester off isn't a great idea. I feel like im not both financially and mentally ready for college. Hinestly I know this might sound stupid but, I feel like im becoming stupid, I don't read anymore like I used to my math skills are going downhill and etc, I find myself spelling words wrong all all the time or just not knowing how to spell them at all. I'm embarrassed. I've become very lazy and tend to put off things till the last minute, and this is just not me. Why do I feel this way is it because I feel depressed very often? How can "re-educate" myself? I wanna be successful in life, but I don't see how I'm gonna do that with the way I've become. I don't enjoy doing a lot of things I used to like, drawing, sewing writing, or baking. Im not that good at any of those things anymore, I feel like I have no imagination anymore. I have a sidekick and I text a lot using slang, is that why I'm beginning to forget how to spell? Please help me anyone, I really need some tips desperately. ;-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): Where are you going to college?I think the reason ppl advise against taking time off is that they worry you'll get side-tracked and never end up going. Since you're already admitted and are not quite feeling ready, perhaps postponing for a while could make sense for you, IF you have a sensible plan about what you're going to do with your time before starting.Several schools on the east coast (harvard, princeton, etc.) have started actually ADVOCATING a year off, once students are admitted, IF the students have solid proposals about how they want to spend the year before starting. I would suggest thinking a bit about what you would LIKE to do for a year off, and then trying to talk with someone at the college you're slated to attend, to propose your plan to them. You can use the articles about the programs that Harvard and Princeton (i think) have started to help bolster your position. What you want is for the college to be on your side - for them to guarantee that they're holding your spot in the incoming class for NEXT year. If they won't do that, I would not advise taking the time off. But I think that you ought to be able to persuade them, if you can come up with a good enough plan.So, let's think - what would you like to do? You say that you've been feeling stupid lately, and that you don't feel financially prepared for college. What would make you feel smart and more prepared? I am always an advocate of travel abroad. The problem is that Europe is the most natural choice for most Americans, because it is safe and accessible, but right now, it is not realistic for most cash-strapped young people, because the dollar-euro exchange rate is in the tank. But perhaps you could go somewhere in Latin America and do some community service for a year? Costa Rica is generally very safe, and is easy to navigate even for someone who does not speak much Spanish. You might be able to learn Spanish while you're down there, and perhaps that would help you to feel 'smart' again. Perhaps you could split the year off, spending half of it in Costa Rica, doing community service, studying Spanish, traveling a bit and reading good literature, and half of it working for a temp agency here in the US, doing office work, as a way to make some extra money and to see how some different office environments operate, since you probably haven't had a chance to see many yet and don't know what you "want to be when you grow up." If you choose to spend half the year working, to make some extra money, I would suggest that it be in an office setting, rather than in retail or service industry, b/c the thing you want to remember is that this year is about learning and moving forward, too. There are federal work-study programs that you can apply for in school if cash is tight, and you can take summer jobs as a waitress working overtime, to try to make extra cash. You can live with a roommate or at home, and you can cook your own food instead of eating out (and you SHOULD! if cash is tight), but you only have so many opportunities to set the course of your life. Use them wisely.I think you are smart to recognize that you are not yet ready for college, and I think there is probably a lot you can do about it. If you post again here, I promise to monitor and write back with more thoughts, if there's anything I can do to help out.Good luck!!
A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Well, it's a slightly in the future but when I went to University (when I was 19) I took a gap year (or semester off or whatever you call it in the States ;-)) and worked full time for year.And it absolutely prepared me finacially, and made my financial situation easier...though I was studying and renting a flat miles from home.Working full-time in a gap year also has the upside that you will become sick of working that you will look forward to college even more!...as well as giving you an experience of "real" work that, let's face it, pretty much every human being will have to do at some point in thier life.Now that was just my situation, and I'm certainly not saying that is the way to go, it was just my experience....there are many people who go straight to college, some take gap years; some are mature students and still do fine, so it doesn't ultimately matter whether you choose to take a semester off or not.A lot of people don't like it at first...but most people learn to enjoy it, and for those that do, college/Uni will be the best time of your life, there's no doubt about that.I *completely* understand the "losing interest"...as it happened to me...but then it happens to everyone.baby duck is right, you lose interest in things because of exactly that; you just "lose interest" -- you find other things to do. You gain new interests and learn new things in other areas. Sometimes these interests come back; sometimes they don't. But even if they don't, don't worry about it. It happens all through life. You have a keen interest in something, then a few years later, you don't.I used to completely love making music...but then I just lost interest. I didn't want to, but I did. But it was no coincidence that at the same time I gained new a interest in media and journalism; an interest I enjoyed more than making music. And I have no doubt that a few years down the line I will find another new area that interests me.Don't worry about not enjoying some things that you used to. It happens to everyone. Just embrace the present. Change is part and parcel of human life.Go to college. You will love it!Take care x
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