A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My mom died 7/12, on 8/16 I got a call at work that 6 1/2 years ago my husband had an emotional affair with someone, when I confronted him with this, he told me he was unhappy and wanted to move out. I found out in sept. that he had been talking secretly with a lady in Idaho and just last month found out he is having an affair with someone he's known for 2 years although they just "talk". How do I deal with this? He is not the same person and I want to make the right choice, but am so lonely and need to take care of myself and kids. I have offered him outs and he doesn't take them. I told him when he is home (he moved out in sept)that I will stay away to lessen the stress. He doesn't want that, yet is sooo defensive of the relationship he has and has not ended it. How do I move on and when do I call it quits? He says he loves me, yet doesn't know if he wants to work on it. I don't want my kids to think I threw him out and blame me. Help!
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affair, at work, move on, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Offer him counseling, and really make a commitment to it. Work on it. The both of you are lonely; sounds like you both disconnected a long time ago. Wouldn't it be great if you could re-connect?
You might try this "Marriage Fitness" tele-boot camp, offered here. It looks like it would really work:
CONTACT INFORMATION
Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel
http://www.MortFertel.com
If the two of you won't go to some-kind of counseling, this relationship is pretty much dead in the water. Break it off and go your separate ways. You'll both be happier.
Wish I had easier advice.
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