A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year in September, I got pregnant, I was 16 at the time and I was on the pill, it was just very bad luck.When I found out I was no longer with the guy so I had to make the decision about what to do.Shortly after I found out about the pregnancy I was due to go on holiday with my friends.One night, I decided to go for a midnight walk on the beach. As I walked, and I heard the sea, and felt the sand, I felt a moment of complete peace. And I knew I had to keep my baby, just so that one day he/she could feel that moment of peace I was feeling.Unfortunately there were complications, it turned out to be ectopic and I lost my baby.It's been months and I can't seem to move on from this. I keep thinking how many months pregnant I'd be now, and I just know I'm going to be in peices around the time the baby would have been born.I really want to try and move on from this - I know I'm only young but I wondered if there were any other women who have been through this and could give me some advice on how to move on.Thanks x
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 April 2010):
 I have lost two pregnancies by miscarriage, albeit at an older age than yourself but I understand it can be a painful sad time. My sister in law also had a stillbirth daughter a few years back. I think it is normal to go through the grieving process. I also think you have to be practical about this so you don't slip into long-term depression. Many women experience pregnancy loss and it doesn't mean that you won't have children in the future. Having a baby as a teenager is a terribly hard thing to do. I think you should go to your GP and ask to see a counsellor - most practices have a therapist working with patients and the midwife allied to the surgery maybe able to recommend someone who deals with such personal issues. It may help to talk to someone about how you feel. There is also a support organisation called the miscarriage association which may help you. You can google their details and give them a call or see their website.
A
male
reader, pipsta  +, writes (3 April 2010):
I'm so sorry for your loss. My partner and I went through the same thing twice within the last few years, it is a very hard thing to deal with and is very emotional.
I can suggest having the support of good friends to help you through this time, and talking about your emotions will help you cope. It will hurt for a long time, but the pain will subside.
Although I am a guy, I understand the emotion you are feeling, as I watched my partner go through it.
Its okay to cry, and will help with the healing process. Just find strong friends and share your feelings. You are not alone, and there are people who can help. If you have understanding parents/parent, try discussing it with them. If you hve nowhere else to turn, there are support groups available to help.
You are very young still, and this will seem too much for you at times.
You will never forget, but you will be able to accept and move on in time.
Feel free to contact me if you would like any private advice.
Hang in there hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): Sorry 4 ur loss. I know exactly how u feel,i lost my sis about 3mnts back. What i came 2 realise is that the pain of losing a loved one is like no other. No pill can take it away. Pray 2 God 2 help u heal. Don't try 2 hard 2 4get instead remembering will make u understand y u have 2 let go.when u feel like crying do so don't hold back as it is part of healing. God bless.
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