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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm female, 19 and going to university this september. I had a relationship with a teacher at school when i was 16/17 which lasted a year, this teacher was also female and 18 years older than me. The relationship ended before i finished college because my parents found out. The teacher wasn't sacked though and carried on with their life. I was forced to move colleges and finish my a-levels elsewhere. I had a year of counselling and severed contact with this teacher.My counsellor told me the reason i sought a relationship with this teacher was because i have problems with my mum and was searching somewhere for the care that i really wanted. Anyway that's the background to my current problem. Basically I recently heard that this teacher has totally moved on, has gone abroad to Australia for the summer, changed their appearance and got on with things.Up until now i thought i'd healed from the pain the relationship caused me - it caused problems with my family at home and it took me ages to stop feeling ashamed and hurt. But suddenly all these feelings come flooding back knowing this woman is having a great time and i'm still the same insecure, needy person i was before.... I feel confused and hurt all over again and it seems so unjust that she can just have a carefree life while i still feel some pain.Can anyone give me any advice or how to deal with my feelings?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I'm the original poster of the question. Thankyou, anonymous below... you nailed it spot on & your reply really helped me feel stronger. Thanks for taking the time to answer xxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I think you need to gather friends around you, have a few flings, busy yourself with work or hobbies, spread your wings a little. At the moment you associate sex and relationships solely with this woman because you haven't (I assume) tried it on with anyone else. Get some perspective- somewhere out there is someone who is worthy of you. Chin up :) :) :)
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A
female
reader, seenitdoneit +, writes (15 August 2006):
Your teacher took advantage of you. She is a selfish uncaring person and you are better off without her. It is easier to move on when you are older as you have more responsibilites. Don't try and get over this, you are grieving in just the same way you would if someone died and there is a natural healing process that you need to go through stage by stage. Just pamper yourself and have some 'under the duvet' time. One day you will realise that you got over this without realising. One final note, looks can be deceptive - just because someone appears to be having a good time doesn't mean they are; looks can be deceptive.
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