A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a virgin in my twenties.I was suffering from anxiety for an year or so. This was due to working continually for night shifts in my job.I could not get out of it.My health had gone down.I remained away from friends and work. I am close to my mom and discussed with her and doctors. The outcome from the discussion was that If may be I go for marriage or some continual relation with a girl could lift the depression. But the condition I was in I had lost intrest in girls too. My mother knew that and she was depressed also. She cant see me depressed any more. One day when I was feeling anxious and depressed, to relieve it she gave me a hug and loosened her clothes. I said that my problem is different. Also I felt my private part touching her lower area. That particular thought made me feel odd at that time. Then I went for an outing to a hill station but that thought of my pvt part touching her body is making me feel odd, anxious all the time.I am in some form of guilty about it.I am getting some sort of panic also. I have got a new job now but the second thought make me anxious now. I could not work inspite of getting my desired job.Now i am getting marriage proposals but I am wondering that first I get rid of this thought and then i will go for marriage because i dont wanna go for marriage in anxious mood. My friends ask me about the prob and I dont know what to say. What should I do. Is getting rid of it a big deal.. Please help..
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male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (25 December 2007):
Lets look at all human-sexuality,perhaps this is the very place for you to begin not only to understand your own sexuality,but also what makes most of us men tick,sexually. You'll find that most of us men's sexuality is Same-O, Same-O. And there are few of us men who haven't looked at a woman's body,be it our own Mother,or Sister,and have not wanted to know them sexually. I don't see that lots of Mothers,or even Fathers,haven't felt the same way,now and then.about their own children,in a sexual way.We are all touch persons,and need to be touched,that is part of what being Human is all about. If you felt at that time that you wanted to make love to her,have sex,well and good,But,Then she may not of felt the same way in her touching.I think that you really need to get your sexuality sorted out before you ever think of marriage.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): Depressiom is a disease and no woman can get you out of it unless she is a psychiastrist or psychologist you are seeing in a therapy basis to treat your depression.
I understand about the panic attacks and depression and anxiety. I too worked the night shift and had to quit due to anxiety and panic attacks. The truth is those night shifts drain your health and energy and they are not supposed to exist but they do because of rich people wanting get richer to our 'necesity of a job' expense. I suggest you try an internal detoxification system like "colonix" (you can buy these at "Ebay US") and to take magnesium supplements.
You see, I don't sell these but through research for my own good I've discovered those anxiety attacks are due to the excess stress we are exposed to (speciallly at the night shifts) Your body is trying to tell you your vitamin and mineral reserve is out of balance. You see, stress depletes our vitamin reserves and can cause us even mental problems like yours.
I know I got rid of my anxiety and most of my depression taking this detoxifying supplement but oyu can look for your own brand. Though 'Colonix' is the best in the market. I also recommend a natural supplement called Becalm'd for the depression and anxiety. It helps incredibly after at least a week of taking it you'll start feeling much more relaxed.
You should not get married because you are in depression or to 'fix' any other problem. You should get married because you are in love with the girl and she makes you happy and you make her happy.
I wouldn't know why your mother did that to you but if the situation was the way you described it it's normal for you to feel weird because that is sexual abuse from your mother's part. No parent has the right to provoke in their child kind of sexual stimulus. At least in America that's considered sexual abuse. No wonder you are so confused. You feel abused and you can't understand why.
I believe for some odd reason your mother thought she would help you regain your interest in girls loosening her clothes. That's a weird kind of therapy she thought would help but it did just the opposite, it worsened your depression.
You have to accept the fact that your privates coming in contact with your mother wasn't your fault. Your private parts were made to react to touch and other stimulus. Hence, you cannot control the way they react. The fact that you are virgin is also very important because you will be more sensible to any stimulus.
You are going through a chemical imbalance in your body that affects greatly the way you feel and evaluate things but there is help available. Do not become paraoid.
I think you should pospone the marriage thing and look for psychological and nutritional help to ease your emotional traumas.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, truly_unique  +, writes (25 December 2007):
wow..i must say this one had me at a loss for a moment....i think the best thing for you to do would to see a counsellor..soon.
they should be able to help you sort out any anxious moods or feeling that you feel towards starting your new job. As for the thing with your mother...you might want to talk about that too..its not exactly what many people would call healthy.
once you have learnt to controll you anxious moods and you feel comfortable in your job you may want to start dating. marriage is a big step especially for someone so young. you should date first to find out if u truly like someone. being a virgin isnt exactly a bad thing either. you shouldnt be ashamed of it. you are stil young enough.
dont sweat the little things and try not to let them get you down. prioritise your tasks to help you contol your anxiousness...but a counsellor would defiantely be a very good first step..
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