A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have several failed relationships, i honestly think it is me. I meet the wrong type. They either hit me or abuse me mentally. I get away from them but the next one turn up and is just as worse, if not worse. How do i meet someone lovely, kind and gentle? Instead they all seem to come from the same mould, Whether good looking or not. What am i doing wrong! I have four different kids, all grown up now, by four different dads, and the mess goes on. I have spent the last 6 years on my own but i feel it would be nice to meet someone nice, but now i am scared. any advice aunts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, boyfriendisconfused +, writes (1 February 2007):
My heart goes out to you sweetie, i was engaged to a man who started with emotional abuse and then started turning violent, it was hard to leave, not because i didn't want to but because i was scared, so for you to have left all theses previous partners not just the one, i salute you. You have to realise that your a born fighter and have every right to hold your head up high and use this knowledge to build your self esteem because i bet every one of those pigs destroyed it. Well everything they said was lies, every fault they throw at you is a fault in themselves were they seek to cast fault on others. Go out there and have nights out with your friends without the intention of looking for a man, and if you do start to see anyone, repeat to yourself 'I deserve the best!' It will fill your with confidence that will visable to all and discourage any potential partners with abusive tendencies.
All the best to my trooper. :)
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 February 2007):
 You need to believe in yourself more love and be far more choosy who you pick to go out with. Don't just pick the first guy that comes along but have a bit more pride in yourself. When you go out with someone get to know them, their likes, their dislikes, their hobbies etc. Don't take them back to your house and DON'T sleep with them for a while. If they genuinely love you for YOU then they'll stick around and wait for as long as it takes. If they ARE only with you to get you into bed then they won't stick around when they see you don't want to move too quickly in that respect. THAT'S how you seperate the nice guys from the sleaze bags.
Have principals, have morals, be confident about yourself and who you are. This will radiate from you and will ATTRACT the right kind of guys to you. You ARE what you attract and that's why you're not attracting the right kind of guy to you just now. I hope that makes sense?
Eve
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 February 2007):
 i know excactly how you feel, my last two relationships turned out to be nightmares. They say love is blind, well i would believe that because i was the only person who could not see they were not right for me. If i had listened to friends and family in the first place i would not have been in such a predicament.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong atal, you are just attracting the wrong sort of people, higher your sights, or change where you meet them. Like instead of in a bar or something where alcohol is involved, do an evening class, or join a gym if you haven't already.
You will find Mr Right when you least expect it, but find him you will.
All the best of luck xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (1 February 2007):
 Can I make a bit of an assumption? It sounds like your self confidence has sunk to such a degree that you don't even believe you deserve a good man anymore so you go after the nasty ones instead. It seems that self esteem is what you need to work on above anything else. A counsellor might be able to help you with this. Hope this helps.
CD
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