A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: How to make playboy fall in love with you? I love my friend. I am 16 he is 23.He is a playboy, he sleep with any girl. He told me that. But I still love him. He said that he can just keep a sexual relation with me. He cares for me.He is not forcing me.He said I can leave if I want.I don't know what I'm feeling. I really want to be with him. And I can do anything. I said yes to him? Do you think he will change? Did I do right? We are in a long distance relation. We just chat. We will meet after 1 year. I love him. How to make him fall for me?
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female
reader, totty-flossy +, writes (9 June 2011):
This guy is not good for you! please just end it! you will be a bit upset for a week or so but you will feel much better in the long run for ending this! He has basically said he just wants sex from you and nothing else and that he will sleep with who he likes and your not aloud to go with anyone else? What else can he say to show you that he isn't interested!?? Just walk away from him and don't lower yourself to his level! your too young to just be somebodies "booty call" which is basically what he wants from you! you need to stop talking to him and move on! let him use somebody else and find someone who will treat you well! :) x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Hell no this guy is grooming you for sex. When YOUR 23 years old and you think about this guy YOUR going to feel sick to your stomach. No he will not change for sex. sorry to be so blunt.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (8 June 2011):
This man is seducing you for his own needs. He is making clear he is not offering a relationship or love.He wants your body. That's it. There is nothing you can do.There is an old story about a snake that approached a young boy and asked him to carry him to the top of a mountain.The boy said, "But you are a poisoness snake and you will bite me. My people tell me that you will bite anyone."The snake said, "But you are a special boy. I will not bite you."The snake used pretty words to praise the boy's youth and strength, then the boy agreed to carry him to the top of the mountain.When they reached the top of the mountain, the snake bit the boy and he became poisoned.As he lay there dying, he asked the snake, "Why, when you said I was special and you would not do this?"The snake said, "You knew what I was when you picked me up foolish boy."Sweetie, this man is not even LYING to you about what KIND of snake he is.Save yourself for someone who REALLY cares for you and wants a REAL life with you and thinks you are more than a sexual partner.Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable +, writes (8 June 2011):
If you want him to love you than play hard to get and don't give him your goodies. Get his respect and he will hang around, sleep with him and you become nothing more than a number to him and most likely will loose him. You have the cards on your side right now (virginity) hold on to it and maybe than this BOY will want something more with you.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 June 2011):
he is putting pressure on you, and too much pressure.
Perhaps you want answers that tell you what you want to hear. But answers should try to reflect the truth.
Yes, at least he is telling the truth on one count. He knows he is only interested in sex. And he prefers to be unfaithful to whoever else he is with. Plus he wants as many different partners as is possibke well.
How often has he said the same things, as he is telling you now, the very things he is telling you now.
He is telling you how it is for him. And how it will be. He's calling the shots because he is confident about his ability to handle a woman, any woman.
The truth is that all he can offer you is a sexual liaison.
Maybe no even a long term liaison.
And he can't offer you love.
He can't offer any opportunity for more.
He is correct, you should say no.
Only heartbreak lays in wait for you. For this man can't do genuine love. And he will not fall for you, no matter how you feel. In fact no one can ever 'make' another person love you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2011):
Please say NO... PLEASE!
You have to remain a virgin but he can sleep with anyone? and you are ok with this? JUST SAY NO
He has told you he won't love you JUST SAY NO!
If you say yes just for sex he will have sex with you and leave you and you will feel worse. DO NOT give this man your virginity... JUST SAY NO
walk away now...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying...
I have strong feeling that he loves me too.. We had sexual relationship. It was online not in real. We used to chat about sex. He is not forcing me for anything. I did it to get over my break-up. And I fell in love with him. I am sure about this feeling. Because I had my bad past, he knows about it. He love some other girl. He never told her about his feeling. And he will never tell her. Because He says that he hate love. I know he don't. When we were in a sexual relation. I was not feeling good and I left. I guess because of that he started hating girls.
I came back to him now, He took me back. He want me to make clear decision. He said that he can't love me. He can't love any girl and he is bad. He said that if I keep a sexual relation with him. He will fuck any girl he like but he want me to be virgin and he don't want any boy to touch me. He also said that I'm free to stop this relation at any time and we will still remain friends. He gave me one day to make decision if to continue this relation or not. If I say yes we are going to do it in real. If I say no he will stop this. He said that he want me to say no. But its me who is confused. I don't know why do he think that he is bad. Yes, I know that he is doing wrong. He said that he wants me to hate him. But, I really love him. I don't know what decision should I take. Please help me. If I say yes for just sex will he change? I'm confused.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 June 2011):
I imagine you are a lovely sweet girl who has delighted in interacting and chatting with this glorious guy, who looks cute, makes you feel extra special and stirs your heart.
And he says 'he can JUST keep a sexual relation with you'? So he is telling you now that he is ALL he is offering you, a sexual relationship?
Sadly that's what a playboy thinks IS a relationship. But there are so many other aspects that make a good relationship viable. It is much more than that.
And he probably feels and sounds too good to be true, curls your toes, flips your tummy and makes you feel tingly all over when you talk to him.
The part he really loves is the chase. And he can be patient while he builds up the expectation, within you, because that keeps you keen.
But he does not go without while you wait. Because there are plenty of other girls willing to fall for his charms, just like you. It's a numbers game for him. Occasionally he may not succeed with one girl. But his confidence is such that he can happily play a waiting game. Yet once he snares a girl, and succeeds with her, then for him, from then on the game is over.
He will not change.
He will just get better at charming and conning and attracting, charming, enjoying and leaving more girls. And he
will break your heart.
Want to know how to keep him interested? Laugh at his jokes, listen to his stories. Look nice, smell nice, but treat him like a brother. Say no to any liberties, but do it with a smile. If he complains, let him know he has plenty of girls available for sex. Tell him he can be your friend. Be a friend, but refuse to date him. Refuse to allow touch. Refuse to go on dates. Though you could go shopping with him.
It will drive him mad.
He will try to make you jealous. Shrug your shoulders.
He will come to realise that you are not a push over. And he will realise that he has to treat you differently. I know a girl who did this. Her husband keeps her on a pedestal. She knows he loves her, as the one who he nearly 'lost'.
She has always been faithful to him.
But I am very very sad to say that he does still play up. Not in his home city. But when he can he does. It is not the sort of marriage I could ever handle. But I know that some women love their man so much that they will put up with this situation. Could you put up with this situation in years to come?
Because the choice is yours.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2011):
Personally I think you did wrong. I do NOT think he will change because you want him to or because of anything you will do for him.
You are in and LDR and he's a bit older than you at your current ages... 7 years when you are 23 and he's 30 is nothing but at 16 and 23 it's a bit much...
I think you need to guard your heart
I also think that when you do meet him you should NOT sleep with him or provide any sexual favors. AND make sure NOW that he knows this. He's only in it for the sex with a very young firm bodied young lady.
He does not care about YOU as a person just what he can get from you. He's already TOLD you that. Listen to him.
WHY do you want to be with him? Why do you love him? please be specific....
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A
female
reader, totty-flossy +, writes (8 June 2011):
Sweety i dont think that this guy is going to fall for you! he has admitted that he is a player and will go with any girl he pleases and by being honest from the beginning he has made things very easy for himself because he can have you and any other girl and you cant moan at him because you knew what you were getting into from the start!
I know you think you love him but feelings change and i think the best thing to do is let go of this guy and move on! Find someone more your own age who lives close to you so you can actually see them and just enjoy being young and have fun, try not to get too serious with anyone at your age because you will end up missing out on things and wont be able to get your own independence!
This guy is only interested in one thing and thats sex! he may like you as a person and enjoy chatting to you but ultimately he is only looking for a sexual relationship and nothing more! if you get with this guy you will regret it one day! please take my advise and move on from him! You deserve much better than him anyway and i promise that if you let him go and move on you will find someone much better in no time! :) xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Ok you will see alot of people giving you advice saying you cant make some one fall for you..but I think what your after is a game plan. Now I can suggest one for you.going on the information you have given us about this boy. he has certain personality traits. once is that he has a big ego, thinks all girls fancy him, loves himself and likes a chase or a challenge and thinks girls are too easy for him..So you need to drive him crazy. you need to be more challenging. At the moment you think that by him sleeping with you he is getting more and more into you..try not sleeping with you and see if he is still interested in seeing you. Does he contact you more or less?then what you have to do is create the impression your also seeing more people. this will drive him crazy. and will make him realise his feelings for you. this will develop.This is a simple jealousy plotline but it might take this to make him come to terms with his feelings for you
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