A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i'm 15 years old i'm quite smart, tall, i wouldn't say i'm good looking but i wouldn't say i'm ugly either, likewise about my weight i wouldn't say i'm fat i wouldn't say i'm thin sorta in between. but i don't make friends that easily. when i be myself people don't like it (coz i'm upfront if i don't like something i say it to that person i don't bitch behind their backs) and when i've tried to be someone else, well, i obviously couldn't keep it up so they felt lied to and left me. i keep going from crowd to crowd not really feeling i fit in anywhere and although i know friends aren't the most important thing in the world it would be nice to actually spend my free time with someone rather than sit in my room reading all the time. i don't tend to get on with anyone in my year group and everyone older doesn't want to be seen with a younger kid, also a lot of people who i could get along with don't want the trouble as i'm a main target for bullies in the school and a lot of people think they'll start being bullied as well, and as the school doesn't do anything(trust me i've been to them about a dozen times with nothing happening) i've just given up on that front.it's my second to last year of school and i'd like to know how i could actually make some good friends or if i can't do that then find another way to pass the time quicker.thanks if you can help :)anon..
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Aww... I'm sorry that you are going through this. you said that you were a blunt person, not in those exact words. But my question is do you know when to keep your mouth shut? Sometimes being completely honest can be more hurtful than necessary. I understand that you don't like talking smack behind peoples back but if a comment isnt truly gonna do any favors for you than just keep it to yourself, the only thing you can be blunt about is if someone asks you if their pants make them look fat. (say its not appealing to your figure) ;) And maybe get into a dance class or get a job that way you surround yourself with other people and you'll pick up people skills and all that fun stuff... and you might make some new friends out of school =)
A
female
reader, tristeza +, writes (4 December 2009):
Hi,
Im sorry to hear about your awful situation. I think that firstly you should think about your final year of school, your intelligent so apply yourself as this will pave the way for your future success (nice things:) It can be quite tricky when you are going through puberity as everyone around you has their hormones up and down and mixed emotions...also teenagers are fickle and follow others so if you say that people dont particularly like you then unfortunately some people will just follow suit. Take a look at yourself and all of your good qualities, fill yourself with happiness, love and positivity be a strong character and you will shine....Why not see if there are any clubs, events outside of school that you can sign up to...maybe something that focuses on academics (you will meet similar people to yourself). Alternatively take up a hobby, and maybe go on some young peoples chat forums where you could talk to people in your area but be careful before meeting anyone etc.. Hope this helpos :) Just remember as you get older people mature and wil be more accepting of the person that you are. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 December 2009):
I was in your situation actually. It brings back memories. A target for bullies, you get on with older people because you've matured more quickly and such, and you're quite outspoken.
This isn't as bad as it seems. I know it is now, and I'm sure you're feeling lost, but when you get a bit older, you'll see how great it can be being mature and understanding everything a bit more. So hang in there.
There is no easy way to make friends. You always need to be yourself, and a good person will just accept that.
The best thing to do is take up a hobby where other people are that you can get on with. I did a martial art, so mixed with people who were a bit older. I couldn't hang out with them (Some were ten years older), but it's a great way of learning to speak to people, and to be in environment where you feel more comfortable. Also, the martial art might help against the bullies, should they ever attack you. Or you could try dancing, or anything like that, where you just mix with people, and where you feel better than you do at school. You'll get there, so hang in.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): It sounds , if i may say, that you are a bit socially re, inadequate. You said that ''m upfront if i don't like something i say it to that person i don't bitch behind their backs'. I must say that even if there is a problem with the person, sometimes it's not worth being said to their face or behind their backs , cos it can cause unnecessary hurt, there's always a tactful way of going around these things.
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