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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm in university so it's a new social world. I don't have a friend so I want advice to help me to make new friends and social contacts.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
To begin with, let a SMILE be your umbrella !Smiles are absolutely contagious & attract people to us.Study your fellow students in class, observe their personalities during breaks and meal times.Allow yourself to be drawn to the personalities you enjoy.Start with small talk...perhaps a common subject or class.Branch out to chat about their family & background.Before you know it, you will have several "acquaintances"Narrow the field & choose who you want to be "precious friends"Acqaintances are many, but true friends are far & few between, so decide what you want before you go for it !
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female
reader, Kay +, writes (5 July 2005):
One thing you must never do is try and be something you're not! People see this as a cry for attention and no one likes an attention seeker. when people speak, listen and when you speak, expect people to listen to you. I made the mistake of trying to be some one else, it didnt work, I was out-casted because people then felt threatened by me. If I was so false, how could they trust me? Always be there for people, make coversation. If you notice something new around you don't think about it, talk about it! To any one who will listen. good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2005): It's never easy, shifting to a new place. You're leaving behind everything you know, sometimes friends and family. Universities offer lots of challenges..one just has to have a positive attitude and be approachable. Friends help make our lives enjoyable and meaningful.
Joining in work activities and clubs is a great way to bond with peers, many of whom will be potential friends. A lot depends on your own attitude and willingness to invest time and energy in building friendships. Being new to a school has its advantages. For starters, it's a great opening line when introducing yourself to people. If the person turns out to be a potential friend, they'll no doubt have their own established social circle that you will, hopefully, be introduced to. As money attracts money and opportunity attracts opportunity, friendship attracts friendship.
Volunteering for school fundraising events, getting involved with other school functions are all good ways to meet people. But don't get upset if some people don't return the friendship right away – most people lead busy lives. Unfortunately, there are people who – faced with an unfamiliar situation like settling into a new location – display signs of unfriendliness by clinging too much to the past. This can send out the wrong signal – that they're not interested in socializing or participating in activities. Keep in touch with old friends by all means, but remember to save time and energy for making new ones. Establishing friendships takes a lot of effort and if you cling too much to the past, you'll be less likely to have the energy needed to get out there and make new and wonderful friendships. But stay positive, be happy and smile. In no time, you'll have made wonderful friends. Just give it time and your efforts will pay off
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female
reader, xxClozzerxx +, writes (5 July 2005):
I know how you feel with this. Starting new things is hard and if you're on your own you feel left out. Just get talking to people in your course see what interests they have and what they like doing in their spare time. Yyou never know, you might like the same thing and it could start a brand new friendship.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
I had the same problem when I went to university, I was very shy and only had one friend. I ended up making lots of friends and having some great nights out in the end.Try to talk to other people on your course, about recent essays/lectures and try to sit beside different people in different classes, explain to them that you dont know anyone.Also go on a few student nights out or join a few cubs, youre almost guaranteed to make new friends at these. Good luck!
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