A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I can't stop thinking about one of my male colleagues. We both know we like each other, but I have just come out of a long term relationship so I don't feel ready to get involved with anyone. Also our job is very demanding and we have decided that it is more important that we are good friends and support each other at work than to take it further. The problem is I see him almost every day and we frequently have to work closely together. I know I can't get him out of my head way because I want something that I can't have. I need some advice on how to just see him as a friend instead of wanting or hoping for something more when I know it would be bad for our careers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): hi there,I don't really have an answer,I just want you to know that I am in sort of the same situation,and tell you you are not the only one with this feeling.he was a colleage of mine,but we both don't work at that company anymore and for two years now we have become best friends..but I i'm tottaly in love with him!I can't get him out of my head,but same as you,another problem: I'm in a relationship for five years now!!I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world and I dont ever want to lose him.but somehow I have feelings for my best friend and seeing him as just a friend just don't seem to work..
I don't want to lose our friendship,we've been through so much together (my boyfriends also knows him)I don't know what to do,I can;t believe that I have these feelings for him for so long,because I'm happy woth my boyfriend.
I've tried to put all of his bad habits on paper and than trying to lose the feeling,but in a while,or when I see him again teh feeling is back!we've kissed a year back and that made me doubt the way he sees me: a a friend of maybe more??
people told me a lot of times that I should tell him about my feelings but I'm so afrai to lose the friendship if he doest't feel the same..
it's good to know thta there are people in the world that are in the same sitiuation as I am.
I wish you luck with finding the best way to deal with this!!
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 hello
i think the best way to do that is to talk about it with him and be tru and ask him about how hi is thinking of you and mybe he likes you as a friend only and when he answers talk about your main point and how do you feel with your self and how you see your life at the moment and that can be a healthy start for a healthy feutre.
good luck
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A
female
reader, livi +, writes (24 March 2007):
 hey there,
perhapse pick out all his bad points, all the times he has irritated you, all the times you have seen him in a light which really put you off him.
perhapse taking some space away from him at every oportunity.
good luk with it all , try not to dwell to much on it though : D
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