A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So the other day me and my boyfriend decided to give the sex thing a "practice run", because I'm still (?) a virgin and I just wanted to know how it would feel, like on a scale of pain. It was very impromptu but I felt comfortable and we used a condom. He put it maybe half way in but it got very painful. The entry itself was fine, it was just when it got further in that it really hurt, and I told him to stop and he did.So now I'm worried about our "actual" first time (we're not counting that^^). I'm terrified of it being that painful again and I want to know if there are ways I can make it hurt less - any positions that work best, how to ease yourself into it? I know lube can help but getting in wasn't the problem, it was when it got a little too deep an started to hurt.Help! How can I make my first time less painful???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): *OP Here*
Well I found out what the issue was - he was hitting my cervix!! I really didn't think he went in that far, but apparently so! Apparently it can happen when the girl isn't aroused enough... I guess I can agree with that? But at least I know the problem now!!
Thanks for all your advice, really great tips I will use anyway! You guys are so helpful, thank you so much!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): Unless he is extremely large, it shouldn't hurt the deeper you go, as someone else had pointed out, your hymen is close to the entrance. It shouldn't be painful, just a bit uncomfortable. I think maybe he's entering at the wrong angle? I would recommend telling him to move up a bit, it can really hurt if he's trying to enter at a bad angle, first time or 100th time. Also make sure he's well lubed up, it helps it 'slip in" the right place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): "Lie back and think of England" - that's what I was told!
Cindy's probably right... that's how my first time was all those years ago. One attempt terminated due to pain. Next attempt, I was prepared to conjure up images of green pastures and Stonehenge and there was no pain at all. In fact, I barely had time get over the shock of it NOT being painful and try to join in before it was all over - on his part anyway! LOL - them were the days!
We all get better at it
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 August 2014):
 " When it got furher "... how much is "further " ?
A hymen sits right there by the entrance or mouth of your vagina, just past the labia minora. It's not somewhere deep down, so you do not need to go much " further " to tear it- probably yours has already been torn during your first "trial " session, and that caused the pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): You're probably not ready for sex. If you're fully aroused/lubricated and you want to have sex with him you probably wouldn't be having that much pain unless there is some true physical problem like a closed/blocked or extra thick hymen.(Many women don't even have a hymen at all or much of one). You should only have a little minor discomfort/pain if any. I recommend waiting and discussing all of this.
When you are ready, be sure you are really aroused, fully lubricated and that he goes very slow with the best angle/position for you. Remember that this is all about you, not him.
I hope you are using condoms to protect against pregnancy and stds. Remember there a tons of emotional and other consequences to be considered when having sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): I recommend making sure you're really turned on, perhaps use lube, do it missionary with him on top because I found that least painful and don't try any different positions the first time. It will still hurt sorry but you can minimize the pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): I think no matter what your first time is going to be painful due to the fact the you are breaking the hymen. But from what Im told, (I haven't used them myself) the double pleasure condoms do releive some of the pain. Im certainly no expert but I hope this helped a little.
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