A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and my ex is 19. We dated for a year and three months and our relationship was near perfect. We fought a few times, just as any two people in a relationship would. We said that we loved each other for almost the whole time, and with time we meant it more and more. About four months ago I broke up with him, and I instantly regretted it. I wanted to get back with him that night but he seemed to be perfectly fine so I thought maybe he didn't love me. After some time we became friends until he started dating one of my friends. I still love him and couldn't see him with another girl so I told him I couldn't be his friend. He cheated on her with me a few times, and told her about it but they're still together. The other day I confessed to him that I still loved him and would do anything to be with him again. He told me that he was still in love with me but doesn't want to take the risk with me again. He also doesn't want to get back with me because that would make his friends and family mad at him. I respect that he would want to make his friends and family happy, but if he really does love me and wants to be with me, how can I make him see that being together again is the right choice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Girl, he's playin' u and you giving him the nookie isn't helpin' either. He has told u that he doesn't want u back so just move on with ur life. This boy is not interested in u being anything else than a 1 night stand. he just wanna use u. He's lying about his friends and family not approving of u 2 getting back together because if he wanted something and every1 around him were to object.
he would go after it regardless. he only wants 2 come 2 u when he didn't get what he wants wherever because he knows that u won't object to any of his sexual requests because he knows how desperate u r 2 get 2gether.
This means ur a spare wheel and don't think u'll ever change. He thinks nothing of ur girlfriend because he keeps on cheating on her and u he just use u and throws u away when he's done with u. He's playing with ur emotions forget him move on. get urself a good man that will appreciate and treat u with love and respect as u deserve to be.
Get out now before u get pregnant by a man who doesn't love who will dump u and deny the child. Run while u still can and avoid a major disaster u might regret for the rest of ur life and ruin ur life and reputation in the process. If u really think there is a chance of u getiing back together then stopdoing what u do get ur space stay away from him remember it is said absence makes the heart grow fonder and if it don't work out then it probably is for the best.
P.S. As i always say there is no way u can find all u want if u don't have Jesus. He is a healer, a proctector, a friend a father, Jesus is everything seek Him while He still may be found. God bless
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): You won't be able to convince him. It's over between you two and time to move. If you two really cared about each other deeply, you would never haver broken up to begin with. If he really did love you and want to be with you, nothing could stop him...not friends, not family.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
Why did you break up with him in the first place? Was it because of a fight, or on a whim because of something he did? Or was it because you felt you really didn't love him? I have a lot of friends who have broken up and gotten back together with the same girl many times, because after one little fight she overreacts and breaks things off.
If you are more the person who will break things off every time the going gets a little tough, maybe you need to wait for a while before being in another relationship. As a male, I can see where he's coming from when he says he doesn't want to take the risk with you again.
If you think you want to be with him because you have to see him with one of your friends, that's not love. You're jealous that he has something and has moved on where you haven't. Before considering if you really want to be with him again, honestly think if you want it for the long haul. Do you want him forever in your life, no matter how hard it gets? No matter if you have fights every now and again or don't see eye to eye on everything? If you don't know the answer to those questions, you need to take a break from dating and collect your thoughts.
Post-breakup decisions are always bad because emotions get in the way of rational thought, and the word "love" can get tossed around in frivolous ways. Think about him and honestly think if you do love him.
Either way, don't force him to give someone else up unless he wants to. He'll only resent you for it later. If its not meant to be, let him make that decision for himself. Until he does (though he might not) become single again, take that time to give yourself space and really consider if you want him. Maybe by the time he's single, you'll have realized that you feel differently, and only needed the time to sift out your emotions after your break up to figure things out.
Be collected and think. Rushing into one thing after another (like you both are doing) and other impulsive decisions will only hurt each other. Make your decisions carefully and really consider what you want.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Tell us first, why is being with you the right choice? How can you convince him if you don't have any other reason to be with him than "I love you after all"? You need to figure out exactly why you want to be with him, and not play games like "maybe he doesn't love me". If you are sincere about this as well you need to wait until he is SINGLE. This is not the right time to get back together as he is a taken man. There's a time and place for everything.
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