How can I make him listen to me?

A female age 36-40, *viendha writes:

hi..i have been in a relationship for five years now, since college..i am still continuing my studies, while he had just graduated and is currently working in the medical field..i love my partner very very much..he says that he loves me too..he keeps calling me as his wife, and he says he wants to marry me asap..i know that he is very attached with his family..he is a single child with elderly parents..he is a very obedient and filial son..he never raises his voice nor disrespect his parents..his parents make it a point to call him up 3-4 times daily, as they are living apart, and all of them are planning to move in together soon as it is my partner's wish to have his parents stay with him..he has a tendency of immediately believing whatever his mom or friends say or copying what his friends do, and when that happens, he will not even attempt to listen to what i am saying..all that was never a problem with me previously, until recently when he started his job..i don't know if the problem is with me or with him..but he just never listens to my opinions anymore..i find that he will strictly adhere to what his mom tells him to do..since he plans to marry me, i have always had this impression that i have a say in anything that will affect our future together, such as buying a property, etc..but that never happened..he bought an exact replica of a car that his friend recently bought, up to the colour, though i gave a different colour when he asked for my opinion..and its not because HE liked the colour, its because HIS MOTHER chose the colour..he does not listen to me when i suggest locations for potential properties, but runs immediately when his mom asks him to do so..even when all 4 of us go out as a family i sit in the back seat of the car, not beside him..this has even happened when we went out on a double date with friends..his reason is that he does not want to offend his friend or father, but i end up feling offended..we had originally planned to marry in about 3 years time to give ourselves some space to build our careers and wealth..but his mother is now pressuring him to quickly marry asap and start off a family too, as his father was previously a cancer patient..i do not want all that..but the best part is that my partner is now pressuring me to marry him because of what his mother told him, despite the initial plan..it is for this reason alone that i do not want to commit to a marriage, as i feel that i will lose my freedom and voice if i marry, as i will have to stay with my partner and both his parents..as it is i already do not have a say in many things..i want my choices and i would like to be the person making the decisions on my future life and family..i am very confused and depressed now because of this problem, and i feel disappointed as i honestly feel that my partner does not have a backbone..i have talked to him about my opinions being seconded before this, but it is still happening..i want someone who will stick by me no matter what, and i know i have given my all in this relationship..i feel like i am being taken for granted, and i definitely think i am not being selfish..how can i help us both in this relationship? how can i make him listen to me, as i am going to be the person he is going to spend the rest of his life with? i love my partner to bits, but this is not what i want in my life..

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A female reader, aviendha  +, writes (30 May 2011):

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A male reader, a-g55  +, writes (24 May 2011):

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A female reader, aviendha  +, writes (14 May 2011):

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A male reader, a-g55  +, writes (13 May 2011):

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