A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need some help, I broke up with my 'boyfriend' because I thought he was having second thoughts about us. A few days before we broke up he told me that we weren't actually going out but just in a 'friendly relationship' which I took the wrong way making me think he didn't want to be with me anymore. Little did I know that the reason he didn't want to go out with me was because he was moving in a year's time and didn't want either of us to feel bad when it came to that time. When we broke up I may of offended him, but he said it was fine because it was his fault, I tried to find out what was wrong but by the time I did it was too late. He said he still loves me but wants us to be friends. When I asked him if we could ever get back together he said that after today, probably not. I know when he moves I'll be heart broken but I feel that way now, all I want is to make the best of the time we have left.I love him with all my heart and I really need him back, how can I make him know how sorry I am? Should I try and get him back? And how?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): If he wanted to be with you he would be with you, moving or not. This is just a crappy excuse, and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings because most basically decent humans usually don't want to deliberately hurt other peoples's feelings. He doesn't want to be with you. Cry it out and move on.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (3 September 2011):
 First off: You don't NEED him back, you WANT him back. Two entirely different things.
Second, he already told you the two of you are not "going out" (i.e., not gf-bf) and in any event, you are far too young to be thinking of having a "boyfriend." What you NEED to do is focus on your schoolwork so you can get a decent job with good benefits when the time comes; enjoy your family (after all, they provide a home for you, with food, clothing, love, and guidance as you move toward young adulthood) and to look after your health - get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, and enjoy your friends, both other girls and boys. These are what you need.
You probably didn't offend him when you broke up with him - he indicated as much by saying he didn't want things to be so difficult when he moves. I'm sure he understands your disappointment.
He does care about you, by the sound of it, but as he said, wants you to regard him as a friend, not as a boyfriend. Not only that, but when you asked about getting back together he told you that's probably not going to happen.
Now, I KNOW you are sad, disappointed and upset. But really, you don't have any choice in the matter except to enjoy seeing him when you do, and not to pressure him. In fact, you should lower your expectations and try to accept what has happened.
The sooner you can do this, the sooner you'll be able to et go and not be so upset.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 September 2011):
I think that overly, he's been honest, even if what he did at first was confusing. He's going to be moving away, and rather than string you along or hurt you needlessly, he's made the decision that it's best for you both to move on. Even when you tried to get back with him, he was pretty adamant that it was best to move on.
He's even said that you're not at fault, and you don't need to be sorry.
My advice to you is to listen to what he has said and what he wants, which is to move on. I don't think you'll get him back. He's made his mind up, and you now need to move on.
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