A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating a very shy guy. At least, he's quite outgoing normally but shy around me. He told me once that he gets really nervous around me and tends to say silly things to me that he normally wouldn't say to anyone. So I'm wondering if there's anything I can do or say to make him feel more comfortable around me? At the moment, it feels too much like we're dating highschool-style... I'd like to change that if I can. Also, he told me he liked me about 4 months ago and I didn't say anything much back for various reasons I won't go into. But now I feel ready for things to start progressing... How can I do this? Should I tell him I like him? (Grrr, sounding like high school again!) Now that I realise how shy he is with women, I see what a big deal him telling me he liked me must have been. Since then, things have been a little stagnant and I'm ot sure what to do about it (or whether his feelings might have changed since then) because normally I tend to sit back and let the guy make all the moves (not good I know, but at least I'm trying to change that this time!)
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male
reader, november501  +, writes (9 November 2009):
I'm pretty shy around girls as well. Normally, I'm pretty outgoing, but when I'm around girls who I'm attracted to, I get really nervous and also say things I usually wouldn't say with other guys and girls. I agree with Confuzzled about spending lots of time with the guy. The more time you guys spend time with each other, you'll both feel more comfortable and open up, leading up to the next level (whatever that may be).
And it is a very big deal that a shy guy told you that he liked you. That doesn't happen so easily.
In my opinion, you should definitely tell him that you like him back if you didn't already. That would help break the ice. And a successful relationship should never work one way. You gotta make your moves too! If you want to move on from a high school-ish dating, then you should take the initiative and plan a date that you see as fitting to the style of dating you want.
I don't know how your situation changed since September, but I hope this helped and good luck!!
A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (21 September 2009):
 If you want to be with him, then of course you have to tell him how you feel.
About the shy thing, the more time you spend with him, the more comfortable he will feel. Don't laugh when he says somethign stupid, don't give him strange looks when he says something that doesn' tmake sense because he is nervous. Just be open and accepting: don't be afraid to say how you feel or give opinion, no matter how odd they are and listen to him and take in what he tells you. Soon, he'll follow your example.
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