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female
age
41-50,
*ffrycanprincess
writes: my fiance lives with me, and due to some unfortunate circumstances, his 2 sons (ages 6,7) came too. I have 2 kids myself. He doesn't parent them, they are rude and disrepectful to me. Sometimes my fiance is rude too. He thinks it's a womans job to do cleaning and stuff. and he doesn't help out with bills and stuff like he should. This is only a small part of things....I can't seem to get the right words out when it comes to how I feel. How can I let him and his kids know I mean business and have them take me seriously......
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 All I can say is go back and read beentheredonethats message. That is all I want to say to you in a small, perfectly formed nutshell..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): Plan firstly just what you are going to say. Sit him down when the kids are not there and lay it on the table. You are not a slave to everyone including him. Blimey! It sounds like hell! Tell him they are his kids and if they don't start behaving properly and with respect to you then the relationship cannot go on. It is grinding you into the ground now! what will you be like when they are teenagers, and that is worse, i know from experience!!!
Put him straight and don't beat around the bush. It is your life too.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Anjel735 +, writes (13 December 2006):
Wow . . . sounds like you put up with alot. Is it worh it? It sounds like you are already disenchanted with him, are you asking for permission to dump him? Go ahead girl, you don't need to be a mother to 5 kids.
"My fiance lives with me, and due to some unfortunate circumstances", sounds they are his unfortunate circumstances. Simply ask him to help out or leave, he will respect you more if you stick to your guns.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 December 2006):
 So you pay the bills....and do all the cleaning while he sits on his ass and tells you what your doing wrong and his kids demand things from you...cause DAD is busy with watching the telly?
I think that if you packed his bags and moved his butt off the couch....he might get the picture.
Do you WANT to marry someone who thinks it is your job to pick up after he and the children? Is that your dream guy?
Do you want his Rude boys to turn into rude teens who wreck your car, steal your cash, and laugh at you when you ask them to mow the lawn....or stop destroying your own children's idea of respect? cause that's where your headed.
what appeal does this man have? I fail to understand exactly what his attributes could be.
Here are the right words for you honey...
"Hey...yes you....Get out. If you want a waitress...go to a restaurant. If you want a maid....look in the phone book and if you want a babysitter....go to your mother. Until you can teach those boys to treat me with some measure of dignity......and until you learn what makes the kitty meow.....I am done supporting you. Bye!"
Then know that REAL men....love to cook and their darling mothers taught them all about getting white cloths white...They often say things like "you will not speak to your mother like that..." and "you may think i am being mean but that is what I call being a parent." and "the next time you disrespect someone, I will punish you severely. now say your sorry and fix it."and "oh honey that was a great meal....let the kids and I do the dishes while you go have a bubble bath."
You can do better....and you Know it.
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