A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf and I broke up last December because he was leaving his uni to go to back home (about 2,000 miles away 4rm me),and then apply to another uni and we decided long distance probably wouldn't work but we both still really loved eachother. I didn't really move on and he and I still kept contact thru e-mails and IMs. He still mentioned that he missed me but it wouldn't go further than that. About 4 months ago he started going 2 a school about 600 miles from me (still far but atleast not 2,000 miles), and we started talking thru phone again and he mentioned that he'd really like to see me again and I agreed. So we met up about halfway and had an awesome weekend together. We didn't have sex or anything, we just hung out and caught up, made out and stuff. He told me that he loved me and had missed me sooo much and I told him I did too. Then he mentioned maybe trying our relationship again and travelling to see me again when he had a school break. I was so excited. After our weekend he went back home (2,000 miles place) for winter break and when we spoke he told me he doesn't think our long distance will work! He swears he loves me and doesn't want 2 date any1 else, but he says long distance is hard and hardly works and that he hates not being able to see me except once every two months. I was willing to travel to see him and make things work becuz I do love him but he insists it's just too hard. We decided to stay friends even though he says he can't see me as a friend. And sometimes I think that because I'm almost done with college and he just started that he feels intimidated by that as well. I don't get it. Do you think someone can truly love you and still let you go? Why would he say all that during our time together and then take it back? He didn't get anything from it. I didn't even push him to commit to me. He says he got caught up because all these feelings came back. But I'm confused. Any advice would be appreciated.
View related questions:
broke up, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): I think that is nice that you parted on good terms, but that did not happen with me, so I only have bitter enemies. I think that in some cases, men especially, find it VERY EASY to let go, because they do not care. Remember that the opposite of love is indifference and be thankful that he let you go in love, where with my love he let me go in indifference and I will have the painful memory of that until the day I die.
I hope for you that one day, perhaps you two will be ready for each other and have matured and that you can work on yourself hon...imagine coming together later when you are wiser and older and both have grown through facing individual challenges. But don't lost contact altogether if you can, as with happened with me, that is really painful. Best wishes hon.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): Hello Dear,
it is very posible that one can truely love and let him or her go, but it depends of the kind of let go. Cox like my part experience in a relationship. I was really in love with a girl, but when I find out with all the love I have for her, that will still not work out I have to let her go even till now I still very much love her, though she is far apart from me now.
With this I hope you will believe one can love and still let go.
Best of luck
...............................
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 December 2006):
 I think he sounds practical and understands that realistically, if it is meant to be....it is not right now. He does not want to limit you or himself to a relationship that is so absent of ability to do more than wait and pine for each other. Of course you can love someone and let them go. I let the greatest love of my life go....because it was what was best for both of us. I look back now and I still love him....but it would have had to be a different world for us to have been able to deal with the obstacles. Mature real caring often means knowing that even though you can still Try....it is doomed.
My own husband of many years was married before and at one point he decided he should stay with his ex-wife because the children were the ones loosing. He was choosing to try to make it work for their sake and I loved him enough to want him to be happy...I let him go. It soon was apparent that there was no hope there and because I understood the emotion and reasoning behind his attempt....I did not hold it against him and we were married soon afterward.....but if he'd never made that attempt....he would have always regretted it....and it may have become an issue down the road.
Letting someone go can be a sign of deep love in certain circumstances.
Does he want to.....no it sounds like he wants to be there and He DID get caught up in the moment and the fantasy of life With you.
As things stand, you are both free to explore and discover if the other one really is the one for you.
If it is meant to be, then you will eventually, as your lives mature, find some way of being in the same place for a real relationship.
If it is not meant to be....then you have a sweet memory and parted on good terms. You will always have the sweet melancholy of the love that could not be....that is not a bad thing. It is what most good poetry is about.
...............................
|
