A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl I work with and I really, really like her. Her and I both started working together at the same time and she has been in 2 relationships that hadn't ended well. She knows I like her and care a lot about her, but she keeps saying that she doesn't feel the same way. I understand why she may be afraid to give me a chance with her, considering everything she's been through, but I wish she would let me show her just how much she means to me and give me that chance. How can I make her feel comfortable enough to have a relationship with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2018): If you're looking for a glimmer of hope, a friend of mine had a crush on his long time room mate. They talked about it and agreed to just be friends/room mates. The got married this summer! BUT, this friend is 35 and they were "just friends" for YEARS before they decided to try dating. He didn't "make" her decide to date him. He respected her wishes, for the sake of their friendship, and eventually they decided TOGETHER to give dating a try.
You are young. If she doesn't want you, then move on. The next girl is just around the corner.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2018): Sounds like you're in between a rock and a hard place and it's unfortunate that other readers who've replied seem to be making you out to be a bad guy, which i'm sure you're not.
If you guys work together, then you must talk almost every day right? As long as she's talking to you and there's no tension between you and her, she may just be taking her time to find out if she herself wants a relationship if you especially since she knows how you feel about her. It can be frustrating but hang in there and who knows, she just might like you as much as you like her and is just waiting for the right moment.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 October 2018):
 If anything you will be making her extremely UNcomfortable.
She said no, accept it and leave her alone, she’s not interested.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2018):
 OP, you have been taught that NO means NO, right?
What she is saying is NO. She doesn't feel the same way as you do. SHE doesn't WANT to date you. And you can't MAKE her.
So you have to accept that she might like you but she doesn't want to date you. Which means IF you want a GF you need to look elsewhere not try and "force" a girl to date you. That is not how life works.
And if someone says not interested, TRUST that they are telling the the truth. And back off.
Also fating where you work is rarely a good idea, especially if it doesn't work out. Look at her history... she has had two failed relationship in the time you have worked together, the likelihood that it would fail with you two is pretty high - IF SHE was even interested.
Move on. OP.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 October 2018):
 If someone tells you they don't have feelings for you, BELIEVE them. It will be a lot less painful in the long run - for BOTH of you.
There is no way of telling whether her lack of feelings for you is anything to do with her previous relationships or simply that she does not "click" with you and doesn't see you as "boyfriend material". To be honest, it's not even relevant. She has told you she does not feel the same about you as you do about her and you need to respect and accept that. You do NOT have a right to keep pestering her if she has already declined a relationship with you otherwise you could end up in trouble with your employers and/or the law. I am sure that is not what you want.
In your shoes I would tell her you accept that she does not feel the same about you as you do about her. Perhaps show her there is no ill will by saying something light like "if you ever change your mind, you know where I am". Then you REALLY need to leave her alone.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 October 2018):
 She said she doesn't feel the same. Why can't you accept that? Have you not been keeping up with current events, women are not accepting bad behaviour from men any more. It doesn't matter if you want a relationship, she doesn't. If you persist in trying to MAKE her want a relationship you will come across as creepy and lacking respect for women.
JUST DON'T DO THAT … OKAY?
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