A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a lose-lose situation and desperately need helpA couple of months ago my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for another guy. We had been having some troubles, and now that i look back i realize what these problems were...I never truly showed her how much i appreciated her, i took her for granted, and i never did anything romantic for her. Now that she has a new relationship, she's in that "honeymoon" phase, where everything is exciting and perfect. How do i show her that the past 2.5 years weren't a waste of time and that i do appreciate her, she isn't being taken for granted and i can be romantic, because the thing is, she doesn't really want anything to do with me. She told me she doesn't want to be around me, not sure why, but i think its 'cause she's afraid we might spark something again. If i talk to her, it'll just look like i'm jealous and needy and push her farther away. If i don't, then i'm just screwed. It's been almost 3 months since i've last spoken to her and its killing me. What do i do? I really do love her and need her in my life. How can i show her this without her being driven away??? How can i make her mine again???
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male
reader, brow  +, writes (9 April 2008):
I was in the same situation as you. She told me our relationship was perfect. But that she couldn't be in a relationship right now. And that she didn't love me.I went on ONE date and she had a complete breakdown, she became unsure of her decision. Foolishly I went to her and slept with her. The next day she had me again, and decided she didn't want me anymore. And it went on like that for over two months. She would get lonely call and like a chump i would go see her. And it only drove us farther apart. My advice to you is to give her space, and by space I mean don't answer her calls, avoid her, completely phase her out. The important thing is not to cave into her needs. If she calls you out of the blue and wants you to come over tell her your busy. If you go see her it only works to your disadvantage. If she has any feeling for you she WILL come back to you. Just don't go to her. Also get a life. Girls always want what they cant have. Get out there and live. Go to gym. Better yourself, Date, and hang out with friends. Good luck bud
A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (9 April 2008):
 I was sort of in the same situation as you, I think my ex began talking to me again after 2 and a half months. It's hard I know. But exactly what you said "If i talk to her, it'll just look like i'm jealous and needy and push her farther away." you are absolutely right. So simply just do not talk to her. She may realize she misses you she may not. But it all will happen for the best.
If you do talk to her don't begin with telling her how you feel and pouring your heart out to her make it casual and begin to build up the a level in that relationship where you CAN tell her that without risk of pushing her away.
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (9 April 2008):
 unfortunalty its not going to be easy to make her yours again. the best thing for you to do is try your best to move on. talk to other girls and get out moree. she seems to be happy with how things are in her new life and you still seem to be stuck in the past about how things use to be. things have changed now and it may be too late to get her back. giving her space is what is best for you and her. you are not in a lose- lose situation becuase although you have lost her, there are still many girls out there for you. Don't be afraid of change because loosing a good thing does NOT mean you won't find something better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe told me that i was perfect and that i did nothing wrong...
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A
male
reader, brow +, writes (9 April 2008):
You say looking back you now see what the problems where. But what did she say when she broke up with you?
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