A
female
age
30-35,
*ikki-Bikki
writes:i've been told i'm a bit of a flirt aat times and although at times i can control it, sometimes it becomes something i sub-consciously do. It's affected the way i make friends, talking in general, male friends. When i was younger i was a major tom-boy and only recently has that changed; so i look rather 'girly' but i act at times playful, as if i'm mucking around play-fighting with a brother when it comes to guys.I have a few close guy mates and they've all known me for ages, and know what i'm like, but recently i've made new friends and entered into a new circle. And the guys in it are really cool and nice.One in particular is the reason i've entered the circle and we've become quite good friends. But i've started to notice signs that he may possibly like me. He's asked me out, and i've told him more than 3 times that i just want to be friends.What do i do to avoid hurting his feelings, i still want to be his friend cause we're like heaps close, he's told me that he doesn't care who i 'get with' (that sounds so derrogatory) but his body language said otherwise.A few of his mates suggested that he really likes me. i honestly don't know what to do. I know i can't stop or avoid his feelings i just want to know how to deal with this type of situation. Generally i ignore it. But i don't want to handle it like that anymore cause that is in a way kinda cruel. I don't want to do that to him.Helllpppp! :c
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male
reader, The Knight  +, writes (12 May 2010):
Simple, leave him be, my past experiences say you cannot be friends if one is looking to take the relationship just good friends. So take time out of the circle, delete his number and never speak in a way that leads him to continue the conversation, for example he asks " How are you?" " Fine thank you?" Always ensure he isn't standing too close to you and never let him touch you or visa versa. Simple... short and sweet and finally he should get the message.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 We're clear about what he wants, and now we have to talk about what you want, which is unrealistic. You can't have the friendship. He can't separate his feelings of friendship from his feelings of love, so you have to be careful not to send any signals he might read as "she likes me after all". And he wouldn't be wrong if he read your gestures of friendship this way. So, keep your distance and bear in mind that you lost a friend, too. Don't encourage the friendship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 May 2010):
I think you're going to have to be a bit cruel here. When you're having to say more than three times that you're not interested, then the message is not getting through. If he asks you out again, then it's a case of telling him straight that you're not interested and that he is putting your friendship at risk. Only do that if he says something though. Other than that, it's not your problem
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