A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I know is my husband cheating on me? Some advices, hints? I don't have money for a private investigator, though that would be the only thing that could pacify me. I feel something is going on, but he is too clever to leave the 'proofs'. What to do?
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female
reader, boredofit92  +, writes (10 July 2012):
Sorry for the late reply. If you know his apple id and password you can see everything...texts,location etc
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you FA, it helped, both remarks.
@boredofit92 - what about the iphone?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 To be honest It sounds more like stress and low testosterone than cheating. Of course having an affair is stressful. Any way it is good to hear that he is behaving better now. I would see a Dr. if I were him.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all! I do have insecurities and I did catch him in smaller lies which damaged the trust. He does come late from the job and sometimes on Saturdays boss out from nowhere calls him and asks to immediately come and do something. He always keeps his phone with him, it's always on silent. He lost sexual interest in me. He was at the moment when I wrote the initial question so harsh with me with no reason - in a sense that there would be a practical situation where he didn't like something, but his reaction was way too strong for such reaction (for example getting all nervous and irritated with yelling because I left the light on in the bathroom). It culminated few days after I wrote and we spoke and he said he can't do it any more like that. He also saw that it is too much. That day we spoke a lot and he changed, stopped being nervous on every little detail. I don't know what happened, I asked, but he didn't really went into details what changed in him. It's just weird for my perception, there are no logical explanations for this behavior according to information I have, so that is what makes me think that there is something going on besides my knowledge.
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A
female
reader, boredofit92 +, writes (14 May 2012):
If he has an iphone its easy ha! Does he?
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (14 May 2012):
 if he has a pattern of coming home late, making, small trips using as excuses for coming home late ,you could get a rental car or ( get a friend to drive you ) and follow him on a day or two that you would suspect him.
why i say a rental car, or a friends car. so he wont recognize you following him.
what gives you the mistrust?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 May 2012):
logically there is no such thing as negative proof. You cant prove that nothing happened at any time. you can only prove that nothing happened during certain discrete blocks of time. Even a private investigator can only clear certain areas of his life.
On the other hand you only need to prove that one thing happened one time to prove he cheated.
In other words you won't be pacified because you will either find proof that he has indeed cheated, or you will still wonder if he is hiding something you haven't found yet.
The Fact is that you don't trust him, for whatever reason. That loss of trust has damaged the relationship. The relationship will continue to deteriorate until it ends or until in some way you are able to trust him again.
You need to start thinking about how you want this to end. In separation, or in reconciliation. Then get the help you need to reach your goal.
FA
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 May 2012):
 what makes you think something is going on?
he must be doing things that make you suspect he's cheating...
have you just come out and asked him? told him you don't care about the answer you just want the truth?
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (14 May 2012):
You must stay calm and be rational about why you think he is cheating. Are there any real clues to go on such as being late, strange absences from the home, changing in grooming or spending habits etc? Those would be some of the main indicators.
Women's intuition can be a great tool, but women can also be a bit paranoid when they are suffering from any insecurity or jealousy, so you will have to look at yourself to see if you fall into any of those categories.
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