A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Fellow cupids...I could use some advice right now!!!My bf dumped me last week because he is failing school, got depressed about life as he has no idea what he wants to do and everyone else seems to know and just became an angry person. (I must state that I am in a LDR...I live in the UK and hes in Canada and we have met before anyone asks)He doesnt want a girlfriend right now or to even think about girls he wants to focus on himself and pass all his classes and graduate. So thats awesome, good for him.But how do I win him back? I still talk to him like everyday but when I say I Love You he doesnt say it back (I genuinely dont know if he still does love me or if he's lost the love) He is my perfect guy in each and every way, I never want to lose him and I most definately do not see myself being with anyone else...this is the guy I want to spend forever with, Id marry him in a heartbeat.So how do I make sure he's still mines? How can i keep him? Selfish I know.Im actually terrified that once hes passed everything and graduates that in the summer he I dunno goes wild and sleeps with random girls every now and then, that thought hurts so much. But its weird cuz hes not one to go out much so really I shouldnt worry about that as much as I actually am.I dont wanna lose him...yes I have him as a friend but I dont want to be his friend and if I find out he's been with other girls come time I think I'll more than heart broken.
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male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (15 April 2011):
 I think this is tricky and I think the brutal and painful answer to 'what can I do' is pretty much nothing. Why? Well I would say because there is no obvious problem with the relationship, the problem is with your bf and the only thing that is going to change that is for him to move out the place he is in. And...the only person who can move him out of that place he is in is himself, no matter how much you want to frogmarch him out of it, its not going to happen.
Does he still love you? Possibly and thats going to be the real kicker in many ways because if he didnt the break would be cleaner in some ways if he didnt because there wouldnt be that tantalising prospect of getting back together. As a bare minimum he still cares about you but how far that goes and whether he will find his former love for you buried under the rubble of his depression is an open question im afraid.
I can understand why the thought of him with another sickens you. Its because you still love him very much and most people in love would shudder at the thought of somebody they love with another. Having said that I don't think there is anything you can do to keep him as such but simply let what will be play out and try, however hard it is, to pick up the pieces of your own life. If you do that, and its meant to be, further down the road you may get back together - on the other hand, im not going to lie to you, you also may not.
I'm sorry, this isnt the answer you want, I know. You want me and others to be able to give you the magic formula but in this case none exists, at least i dont think so. I wish I could have given you a better answer, the one you wanted, but good luck anyway and take care.....
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