A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: We are back together again my ex and I . My ex fiance kept comming around and only a few day after I left my ex b/f house he was calling. It only took a few weeks before he approached me and wanted to go riding. It was late and we rode around seeing places in his childhood and sharing memories that we special to him. We had lived together for over 10 months and he never took me anywhere near his Dad or anything. He wanted to stop in but it was late so he didn't. Kept saying "when you meet my Dad". I think he is getting closer to me but he is still that prideful man who thought I should leave. (Long story) He hasn't said he is sorry about things in our relationship he knew were never my fault. He has however started saying things like I always have a tendency to take something out on someone who isn't the blame for the problem. He is also showing acknowledgement that he knows the roommate isn't doing everything he should be financially and otherwise. Thank God he finally is fianally seeing the light. I had to have same day surgery and my ex actually offered to go with me. He even took me home with him to rest and get better for the night and following day. Since we started talking again we quickly became a couple overnight. He even told someone Fri. night who was flirting with me bigtime.(he knew the guy) Oh you haven't met my girlfriend have you? My ex fiance owed me money so when he came by to drop it off my ex bf came flying up to the house spinning wheels and I do mean in a matter of two min. after he saw the ex finace's vehicle come by.(He was at a neighbors house) It seems that he might be a bit worried that someone else was going to come and steal me away. He does know that I love him very much although considering some of the ignoring me and taking me for granted he has done in the past. What I am trying to reason is how not to get back into the same old rut. I am the same person as I was before and I love him. He is still stubborn and prideful. It feels like he cares alot and when I started saying once again that I loved him he would just say you too. The other night when he brought me home I say be careful , I love you. He said quietly I love you too. When I asked what he said, pretending I couldn't hear him( children were all about) he said * uh huh. I am not going to push the issue so I am going to back off a bit againz. We have talked more over the last week and a half than we have in months. So I think that is a good sign as he is realitively quiet unless he is in partying mode. We have even began to sing together again and dance. I have never been any good at playing hard to get. I am not sure how to really keep him interested other than by being myself. How can I still be me but not give too much. How can I make him give more without him knowing that is what I am doing? Ladies and gentleman I am sure you will have some ideas that can help me keep the man I love and make me more able to let him come after me. Thanks in advance for the advice.
View related questions:
fiance, flirt, I love you, money, my ex, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks RCN for the advice. Let me run this by you if you please. We have been back together for 5 weeks now. Things have been going pretty well. On Fri night my ex bf being distant made me feel ignored at the club. I walked around talking to everyone like always. I danced with a few friends as always and ladylike I might add. This is not unusual because he doesn't always want to dance and they have asked before for his permission to do so. I would rather dance with him. I looked around and he was out on the dance floor with another woman. I don't ask the men to dance with me. He asked her.
I am not a typically jealous person and he professes not to be jealous at all. He however commented that I was flaunting myself at those men and this is not so. He went further to say that he didn't want to hear about my ex ever again. All I did was say he owed me some money and had forgotten to give it to me so I would be short of cash for my gas to go home. I was driving my truck. Now all of a sudden after the better part of nearly two years he is acting jealous and making comments to such.
Each time something happens he always say I love you but not in love with you. The fact is that since we have gotten back together he shares things he never has before. Attended an operation I had to take care of me. He snuggles more like on the couch watching tv. He also holds me closer and more tightly while we sleep or lay in bed talking. Many things he does now that he didn't do before. The situation on Fri had nothing to do with if he was in love with me or not..it had to do with why are you ignoring me . I am dressed up for you and I wanted to dance with you not everyone else.
He made a remark about someone asking when we are getting married. I have known him over and over again to say he would never get married again. The person who told me my ex also confirmed. My ex didn't know that I had already been told. When my ex repeated what he had said ..his voice suddenly softened and he said "then I told him..well if I do get marrieddit will be a long time yet". He then smiled. Seems he could be in denial that he does love me.. This relationship has lasted almost 2 years. We broke up twice before and both times he came back after me. This is our 3rd shot. It always goes back to I am not in love but love you more than just a friend. He has options so why come back to me.
Everyone seems to notice that he stares at me alot. He constanly watches what I am doing in the club. His I am not jealous attitude has turned to the apparently I am jealous attitude it seems. I don't really talk about my other ex like he claims . It is no more that you would talk about any friend or such who you have constant contact with because we both helped raise chilren together. Do you think he feels this person is a real threat to the relationship. Perhaps that I am starting to slip away from his grasp?
I don't dress much different or act any different that the first time he ever saw me. So what is he thinking? We by the way have spent about 60% or more of the last 5 weeks together. What can I do to make this guy see that he is the one in my heart and I deserve to have his attention. It doesn't mean I have to be the center of his attention all the time but I want to be treated like he is with me. He says I am a a good woman. He even made a comment the other night while watching a site about buying homes for the unpaid taxes. He said "baby I could buy us one of those with a weeks paycheck and then do a little work on it and have a nice place." hmmmmmmm What is he thinking?
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Just keep in mind what you're doing now to keep things excited. People get into ruts in relationships, business, education, all sorts of life activities. What I have always heard recommended which I'm sure would be beneficial in relationships as well is if you're in a rut, then go back to the basics that brought you into the relationship in the first place.
During the past couple of weeks, I have answered many questions, and I bet I'd only come across what is the "actual true love" 10 times or less. Make sure its the true, lasting love before moving too far. The big difference between what most people consider love and true love is true love is selfless. It's loving without any expectation. It's making mistakes and learning how to overcome together without being judgmental.
...............................
|
