A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a conundrum!My long distance, international boyfriend and I are trying to arrange for him to stay with me in the states for 6 months.He comes from a Nordic country that is listed at one of the top 5 places to live! I don't want to be specific but its a great country for honorable living. Its not third-world or underdeveloped.Basically, he can apply for a visa and hope that he gets 6 months at the border check in. Or come with ESTA that gives him 90 days. If he applies for the visa and gets denied, he wont be granted any access into the country regardless of his ESTA.I am not sure if we should go for the risk? His country has a 15% denial rate in the past 8 years.He is currently between degrees. Meaning he just finished his masters and will go onto his Phd but that wont start until next year and can not prove he is a student. He does not own a home, but he has banking statements that prove hes saving up for a specific plan to do so in his home country. What other ways would help increase his chances of getting the visa?I am not sure if it is a benefit or not to know that he has a girlfriend in the states, but I know that a letter would help stating that I am inviting him to stay.We were really hoping for this long duration as a test for us to live together, for him to meet my friends and family more personally, for him to build a tolerance to my cat as I will be moving to his country at the end of the summer for a masters program.Thus, he is not obviously looking for employment or residence. I will be moving to his country.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2014): My cat is an indoor cat. Thanks for sticking to the question.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2014): OP Here!To the first anon: Thanks a lot for some of your additional details. I suggested that he get some sort of official letter from his department of study or someone who would sponsor him when he returns to begin his Phd. He is a mathematician (statistician more specifically) and he just feels less confident about some of the similar stories he has read. It's just a gamble. Even if they left out some information that made them less reliable - we just can't be sure.As long as its financially feesable, perhaps he can do the 2 months here, 2 months home, three months here. But I think to not chance it, we will just go with ESTA visit.However, we are looking into a different visa. Fortunately, he has some connections here that may offer him an internship position as long as he can financially support himself which seems like a good option for those sponsoring him (free employee) and a chance to kick-start his Phd. =DI just want to add to the second anon: I don't get what business it is of yours if I choose to take my cat with me to another country. Although, I think its safe to say you did not read my post correctly. My boyfriend is visiting ME for 3-6 months. I am moving to country AFTER for 2 years AT LEAST. Regardless, I made a commitment to my pet and if I end up moving for 2 years and potentially permanently, I intend to bring few and important things with me. That includes my cat.Not to you commentators specifically, but some people who read posts tend to fill in information and often with doubt of the poster. So I appreciate the advice and the and/or of it all.Just to clarify, since I didn't feel I needed to add a lot of emotional detail into it but it is crucial that this length of time happens as if I move to his country permanently (via marriage) I want to minimize the distance by having that opportunity between my boyfriend and dad to build a friendship. So if ESTA is the only sure guarantee, might as well go with that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): The first two answered covered it I think. Two things I can add: firstly, in regards to the 15% denial rate, keep in mind that many people who apply are either stupid or unprepared or both. Many of those denials are probably people who lied(about anything), had no money or anybody to support them in the US(they're going to have to work while they're here), or had no ties whatsoever to their home country(they have no reason to leave when they say they will). Legitimate applications from people who are honest and prepared are not denied 15% of the time, I can assure you. As far as improving his chances, there's no way for him to enroll now in the PhD program so he can prove he's going to be a student? A return plane ticket will help. If he can bring proof that you're moving to his country at the end of summer, I imagine that would help quite a bit.
Ultimately, the decision to risk it or not is up to you and your boyfriend. You have to ask yourselves, how important is it that he comes over to meet your family and friends and gets used to your cat? If it's of the utmost importance that he at least spends some time here, maybe you don't want to risk the extra three months on the chance that he won't get to come at all. I mean, 90 days is a pretty long time. It's not six months, but it's still a pretty good test run.
One more thing to consider: with an ESTA, it's 90 days per trip. He can make more than one trip. While he'd likely run into problems if he came here for 90 days, went back home for a day, and then tried to come back for another 90 days, there are other options. He could come here for a shorter period of time, then go home for a bit, and then come back for 90 days. I believe the general rule of thumb is that you want to be out of the country as long as you were here before you return. So he could, say, come here for six weeks, go home for six weeks, then come back for 90 days. That would give him about 4.5 months here over a six month span. That is, if he decides not to apply for the tourist visa.
Best of luck!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 January 2014):
 ESTA is only valid for 90 days and if he stays more he can get tobig trouble.
So if he wants to stay 6 months, it's not like he has a choice, he HAS to apply for a B/2 for tourism.
Visa rules change often, so I may be wrong.. but I don't know why you say he should " hope " that he gets 6 months at the border check in. He can ASK for 6 months right off the bat, and have his personal interview at the US Consulate in his country explaining what he is going to do and who is going to support him there all that time ( you/your family as per your signed declaration ) etc.etc. - I think you are worrying too much, they generally have no trouble allowing a 6 months tourism visa to Italian citizens, imagine to citizens from some rich and virtuous :) Scandinavian country as your bf.
What they want to prevent is people immigrating illegally to work in USA, and I don't think they are so concerned about a Swedish or Danish national tryng to get into USA... to work as a dishwasher off the books, it wouldn't make much sense .
Of course your bf must try to convince them that he is not immigrating, just visiting, and that he has all intentions of going back home. Unluckily your bf has not got a job there, or the enrollment, or even the application to his new school,- but I don't think they'd pass him through too fine a comb, since he comes from a " good " country. His local banking statements may be enough, the lease of his apartment, and the copy of his last bills,...copies of work applications to local firms... stuff like that. The Consulate staff generally develops a fine ear for bullshit, and if your bf goes to the interview and just tell them the truth, I don't think they'd make any problems.
So, I'd try for the B2- but- I don't want to have your bf on my conscience :) , so if you want absolute zero risks, then make him travel on ESTA and be content with 90 days. After all, 90 days, or 180 days... what difference does it make since you have alreday decided that you are moving to his countrty ? If you have made up your mind in this sense, it means that you have DECIDED to deal with anything which both cohabitation and the new country may throw your way, and decided that you can handle it. So 3 months more or less should not really make such a big difference.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 January 2014):
I think the fact that you want to move to his country helps. They usually only deny people from wealthy countries if they suspect them of being dishonest or if they leave nothing behind in their own country and they think that they'll come here and not contribute anything (like tourism money).
So if your boyfriend has some money that's a good thing.
He'll be asked questions and he really just needs to answer them honestly. He has nothing to hide so if he tries to frame the picture the way he thinks they want to see it he could end up coming off as dishonest.
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